Depression, Epilepsy, and Praise with Becca Sugg

She broke her nose from a seizure a week before a major show and still performed. That single detail captures the tension we explore with Becca Sugg: the call to create, lead, and serve while living with chronic illness that can interrupt your life without warning. Becca is a Christian rock musician, lead vocalist of Reclaim the Day, studio owner, mentor to young artists, and she brings a rare mix of grit and tenderness to the realities of faith, health, and work.

We trace her journey from the Christian music scene into full-time music, including running Reclaim the Day Studios and teaching at Rock Stars of Tomorrow. From there, we get specific about epilepsy and seizures, including focal seizures that feel like a “reset,” plus the auras, fatigue, and lifestyle triggers that can build toward bigger episodes. Becca shares what helps her manage epilepsy while touring and performing, how she navigates stage lighting, and why hydration, sleep, stress management, and nutrition are not “nice extras” but part of staying alive and stable.

Then we move into the parts many people avoid saying out loud: depression and anxiety that can distort reality, create spirals, and strain a marriage. Becca talks about irritability, suicidal thoughts, and what changed when she accepted help, including fluoxetine (generic Prozac) as a medication that felt more neutral for her. We also talk about practicing gratitude, praising God in the storm, and learning to see ourselves through God’s eyes rather than through diagnoses like rheumatoid arthritis or labels like “medically frail.” If you’re looking for Christian encouragement for chronic illness, epilepsy support, and honest mental health conversations, you'll find it here.

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Transcript

Welcome And How We Met

L. A. Sprague 0:00

I'm your Jesus loving and pote host, Elise Brake. Welcome to Christians with Chronic Illnesses. Becca, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

I'm humbled to be here.

L. A. Sprague 0:25

Dude, same. So I thought it'd be fun if we talked a little bit about how we know each other because we're from a little like what do you even call subculture? Like a niche, like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Like I feel like it's weird because it's like, you know, I I think I've known you since 2013 because you weren't you at the Pitfest 2013? I don't know, probably. I was little, is all I know. Yeah, you were so little. And that's what it's so funny. When I'm like, I was talking to a couple of uh of my friends about this podcast, yeah. I was like, man, I knew Leah and now she's married and it makes me feel old. So it's like, oh my gosh. Well, how old were you in 2013? I had just turned 18.

L. A. Sprague 1:13

Okay. Oh my gosh, so you were young too. And for everyone listening for a reference, I'm thirty or I was 13 in 2013. I'm not 13 anymore, but yeah, I was like, not 13 anymore, but no, I was 13. So yeah, so you're in a a band, a Christian band. And we went, I went to like all these Christian, like, you know, I guess they were like smaller concerts, and that's mostly what I went to, is like more local shows.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Yeah.

L. A. Sprague 1:42

And then I actually don't think it was Pitfest, which if you're listening, you're interested in like smaller concerts or or just concerts in general. Pitfest is awesome, Kingdom Come Festival is awesome. Always one ministries, shout out to you guys, they're great. But anyways, I actually think I saw your band. Was it still reclaimed the day at the time, or was it something else?

SPEAKER_00 2:01

I honestly, I think when we first met, it was probably my first band at the time.

L. A. Sprague 2:06

Was it? I know you had a I think it was a CD that had a blue hand or something.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Yeah, that was so uh funny story. I actually have that album on my wallet. So yeah, that was definitely a world apart. World apart, okay. Yeah, world apart, those were the days. Not that I'm proud of how that music is the the to this day. It's kind of like I've grown a lot since then. Right, yeah. Um, but don't don't go looking for the that those the those songs. They're not the green. You know, I I mean when everybody has got one band that they're starting out with, and it's kind of like one of those things where but it's just completely nine-day difference from back then to now. Yep, dude, for sure.

L. A. Sprague 2:53

But hey, I loved it, you know. I loved it, I loved you guys, and so anyway, so now every time we see each other, you're always convinced I haven't grown an inch. Or no, you're always convinced I'm taller. One of the two. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Yeah, I think it got it got to the point where I just say that just because I mean I knew that you weren't growing anymore. But like I always like, you had you had grown a little bit. I had to make myself feel better because you were getting older, and I was like, I'm getting older. Pretty soon I'm gonna start growing growing gray hairs and and things like that, and uh, you know, so you know, but that and I'm I'm always like uh you know, the way that my family's always been, we always tease a little bit the people that we love. So uh makes sense kind of where it is, and so it's it's been amazing to see you grow, and I I just I'm still kind of dumbfounded that you're already married and you're like yeah like full on grown up now, and I'm just like what you have a kid.

L. A. Sprague 3:55

I still can't fathom that, honestly, even though you were 18 at the time.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

I can't even fathom that. I can't even fathom that I'm a kid. You know, I used to tell my friends in high school, I was like, I'm gonna be the last person married in my front group, and I'm gonna be the last person with a kid, and I was the first for both. That's hilarious. Yeah, it was it was pretty interesting to say the least.

L. A. Sprague 4:15

We don't always call our futures out the greatest.

SPEAKER_00 4:18

No, we don't, no, not at all. But uh here we are, you know, God knows our futures, their issue is exactly the opposite sometimes of what we expected them to be. Yep, yeah, I can't attest. I can't complain.

From Local Shows To Full Time Music

L. A. Sprague 4:33

So yeah, tell us about your present now. What was your future? But you we we met you because you were in the music scene and you're still in the music scene 12 years later. So or I guess now 13 years later.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

A lot of growth, a lot of growth. I started doing music professionally probably about 2011. Okay. And then I started to kind of I with every project that I've been in, I've like grown a lot. I've learned a lot of life lessons the hard way. But yeah, no, needless to say, now it's it's kind of where I feel at home, and I've grown and had friendships that I never expected that I would have. And at the same time, I have a husband who's from Arkansas, which is like eight to ten hours away, depending on where you're coming from in Indiana. And then a kid who's four years old, and I'm just thinking, wow, where did the time go? I already have a kid who's almost five years old, that there'll be five this year. You know, we have our own studio business. We work at a rock's rock school, basically, where I uh every night, except for Fridays at this point and Saturday and Sunday, because Sundays were closed, but I'm working with a band every single night to teach the student how to perform, how to be in a band and play with each other, especially for people that are played instruments and sang and stuff all by themselves and they don't know how to play with another person. We're just kind of doing that and giving them opportunities to be able to showcase and and play music themselves with their very first band. And it's a really cool experience. It's like I didn't get that when I grew up. I just was like, all right, here, you're in a band. Yeah, I've honestly never heard of that before. Yeah, yeah. It's really cool to be a mentor to people, to some of these kids, and some of these kids come in with rough lives, like they they the all the only thing that they have going for them is music in this in this school. And it's it's humbling to be a part of such a beautiful thing, and that I'm here to help out where I can. Just you know, where I where I had a very long and tumultuous path of learning a lot of horrible, horrible lessons. I want to make sure that I protect these kids and you know, hope that they don't make the same mistakes that I did. So I've just I I try to pass on the best advice that I can while teaching them how to play their instruments, but also teaching them about the industry and what that looks like and things like that. So it's it's honestly nothing that I ever expected I would be doing. Yeah. But um I'm here and it's it's crazy. It's really crazy. And it sounds like you like it. I love it. I love it. When I'm not when I'm not touring or doing studio stuff or whatever I'm doing, because basically my my full-time job is music. So if I'm not at the school, I'm out on the road or doing something involving music. So it's just it's a very humbling thing that I'm able to do what I'm able to do.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

I never I can't say I never saw I I I I worked really hard, some normal nine to five jobs for years, and I can't say that I never saw it coming, but I hoped, I hoped that that would be the case. Um the way that it went was the was what I never saw coming, because it yeah, you know, it was kind of like my health and how I got there and and so many things, so many factors played into it, and it was just a it was a yeah, it was a lot. It was a a lot of rough patches, and but you know, and still going through it to this day, but I I couldn't be more overjoyed to see what's what's up what's coming next.

L. A. Sprague 8:44

So yeah, that's awesome. I think it's cool that you've been able to pursue that passion of music, and I'm excited to hear how health contributed to that journey. I mean it it sucks, like health issues suck, but you know, like this podcast, for example, wouldn't exist if it weren't for my health issues, and so I'm looking forward to hearing how that all worked together. Do you want to name plug like your your studio and if you want to, your school?

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Yeah. So my studio's call it's it's basically a branch of Reclaim the Day, which is my main band with that I'm the lead vocalist of. So it's Reclaim the Day Studios, and we've been doing some mixing and production and mastering projects lately for a lot of the bands in the scene, but it's been a fun thing, but also working on some of our own stuff lately. Um we it's called Rock Stars of Tomorrow. It's so cute! Yeah, yeah, it's uh it's a it's a franchise, it's a newer franchise. Yeah, you know, a lot of people you'll see like School of Rock and uh things like that. It's a it's kind of one of those, but it's it's different. It's a newer franchise, and it's I think I don't know if they have another one in Indiana or not, but it's it's beautiful because it's it's a great family atmosphere vibe that that has always been there. And you know, since the moment I met the owners, they were they were great, and we really kind of tried to make the impact that we can there. So that would that's been cool. So if you're in the indie area and you do need some music lessons or you want to join a band, you know, that's that's the per it's the perfect time right now, you know. It's so cool.

L. A. Sprague 10:29

Man, wish that were around when I was like 13.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

I know, I know. That's what that's what I said. I I had to learn on my own and books and stuff, and and I mean, granted, they had lessons, but I never got into them.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

Right. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

But I know how necessary they really are now. And uh, you know, I even as a teacher, I'm always I'm still taking lessons, you know. Zana teaches me vocal lessons, and on top of teaching, I'm still learning everything that I can so that way I can teach better to my students.

L. A. Sprague 11:01

Yeah, so that's awesome. Yeah, to be uh I heard this a lot in college because I went for a teaching degree, and you hear all the time that to be a teacher is to be a lifelong learner. So it's cool to hear that that also applies to the music industry. That's neat.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

Yeah, you find a lot of people that are like kind of it in the older crowd, yeah, and a lot of them will probably say, Oh, you know, I've been playing for like 50 years, I don't need to learn anything more.

L. A. Sprague 11:26

And you're just like, Well, you can always learn more. Exactly. Exactly. So reclaim the day, would you say it's a Christian rock band? Is that how you put it?

SPEAKER_00 11:37

It it is, but it's also it's in both markets. That's fair. We want to apply it to both markets, you know, because we want to appeal to everybody. Um the message is for everybody. Yeah, absolutely. You know, like we've played in bars, we've played in other places that aren't shin related. And so that's kind of why we're we're in both secular and right. Yeah, that's awesome. Want to be able to, you know, tell those people, hey, we love them too. Yeah, um, so it's been it's been great. So you know when I'm not with Reclaim the Day, I'm usually with Zana. I'm playing bass for Zaana. And uh since I play bass for her, and then some others who I who hire me out when they can, like Matt Moore, or I think these beautiful ruins is looking to give me on something. It's just people reach out to me and I just kind of like you know, I'm a hired gun at yeah, and you have one repeated.

L. A. Sprague 12:37

You also have your own personal music, right? Outside of Reclaim of the Day, you also have just Becca Sug, right?

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Yeah, I have one song that's out that's been out since 2021, but I'm working slowly, very, very slowly. There's because there's just so much going on on an entire album.

L. A. Sprague 12:56

Oh my gosh, no way. That's so fun. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

So there's a reclaim the day album in the mix, and then there's also a Becca Sug album being awesome, lots of creativity, dude.

L. A. Sprague 13:08

I can't wait to hear that.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

I I'm excited. Yeah, me too. A lot of work though, but I mean I'm it's worth it. So yeah, absolutely.

L. A. Sprague 13:19

So you talked about the message that you have for everyone, you want to love everyone, and I know that you personally, personally are a Christian. Do you think that your faith and love for music, like,

Finding Real Faith Through Music

L. A. Sprague 13:33

did you just grow up with those like at the same time? Or was there like I don't know, because I know for my life personally, like I knew Christ before I was into the music scene, but the music scene exponentially grew my faith. So I'm wondering kind of what is a little bit of your story with your faith and your music?

SPEAKER_00 13:52

That's a great question. So I grew up kind of I wouldn't say knowing Jesus, I knew who Jesus was. Yeah, I I grew up in a Nazarene church. Um and you know, if you if you know Nazarene churches, they're either one thing where it's like, hey, they're full on dancing through the the aisleways. Uh they're the you know, just sit and like look pretty and don't, you know, do anything. And that was kind of like my church growing up was the the sit and just you know occasionally raise your hand and woo-hoo, you know, and worship. But that was my experience of what you know worship was. That was my experience. But for some reason, I just always still got into it, you know. I went even when I started playing music, I I wanted to just I just felt it and I just would rock out even on worship, even in when I knew that they were muting my guitar from the stage. So like I I just I was kind of like, you know, I I just loved it. I just loved the feeling and and what music can do to move people. However, I was an athlete. So if you want to call it that, I was a lot more into athletics than anything. And my sophomore year high school is really when things started to take a turn for when I kind of started to look more into the music rather than the athletics because had had some bad experiences with with some fellow teammates, and then mixed with, you know, I really wasn't as passionate and I wasn't as active enough to be better. And then I I saw a heart concert live with my dad on TV, and I was like, I want to play guitar, and that kind of just unleashed my love for music. It was just like I I think that was so cool. And he said, as long as you stick with it. So he got me a guitar. For real. Yeah, he got me a guitar, and the rest is history. Like, I I got more into music. I found through through online, I found it to a band, and I started playing guitar, then ended up being lead singer, and then the rest was history. That's how I got into the scene. But I honestly, it's funny because I play heavy music. I honestly used to think it was like that the devil music. Really? It was funny because my sister would blare evanescence and she'd be and I'd be like, turn off that devil music, you know? Like so funny. Nice Hawk and Elson. Oh my gosh. So one day I went to a Christian bookstore and I my parents, because we were about to do some yard work, and grabbed my CD player, and they're like, you can pick two CDs to listen to. And I picked just out of random, Jesus Freak, DC Talk, and Skillet Collide. I was not prepared for what I was about to hear, but I loved it. I fell in love with Skillet, I fell in love with Collide, and then that was the moment where I fell in love with heavy music, and it just started my journey from there. And I think from there on, like as I started to being more in the industry, I learned many more lessons. And there are I I'm not gonna lie, there were many times I wanted to quit. Many, many, many times. But I I think it's one of those things where too, you're you're never really feel like you're supposed to have like a normal nine to five job. I mean, seasons where you were, but like you're you there's something more to this than than you're hoping for. And it just kept your drive going. And so it was kind of like, hey, I'm gonna keep going. I'm gonna keep going, even though like everything fell apart and let's restart, reset, let's go. And I think I've probably reset bands probably good about seven times now. If I would have just started with reclaim the day from the beginning, I probably would have been further along, but that's okay, but it's okay because this is this is all what God had planned.

L. A. Sprague 18:14

Yeah, it's all part of the purpose.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

And but I at the same time, if I hadn't learned the lessons that I did and done the things that I did, I wouldn't be where I'm at today.

L. A. Sprague 18:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:25

And I am very grateful for that. Yeah, very grateful for that. So it's it's really affected my drive. And though though I wanted to be the I guess the the first woman in the NFL was my first dream. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Then it was kind of there was another the dream that I wanted to be a missionary in India and speak there. And I still want to speak, you know, I still speak going out and doing music. I never really thought of myself being a musician when I was younger, just besides the singing part. But when I played played guitar and then I started learning all the other instruments, I was just like, wow, you know, I feel really passionate about this. Yeah. Then honestly, through all the periods of learning my lessons through each time, I really started to learn who God was. And that really changed for me too. So I I was baptized when I was eight, but I rebaptized and rededicated my life, I want to say 2020 or 2021, I want to say. Um, I was very baptized because that moment at that time I actually felt like I really understood what a relationship with Christ looks like instead of what I grew up with. So like, yay, praise Jesus. No, like having a personal relationship with him. And that was really what spoke to me.

L. A. Sprague 19:57

Yeah. So what looks different now, like to have a personal relationship with Jesus in the way that you worded it, how does that look different now than it did before 2020, 2021? Or would you say it doesn't necessarily look different, but it feels different, or you just have a deeper understanding? What what do you think changed?

SPEAKER_00 20:16

I have a deeper understanding of it now. And and like like before when I was younger, it it just felt like I was going through the motions. Yeah. And it was just like, okay, I'm supposed to go to church. I'm supposed to do this, I'm supposed to do that. It wasn't really until I became a worship pastor of a church in Indy, I was like, I started seeing more of the Pentecostal side and people like speaking in tongues, and I was like, what is this? People falling out in the spirit, and I'm like, oh what is happening? Like, because I didn't grow up on that. That's so funny. Is this is this like what what what what is happening are these people like possessed? Like, yeah, it was my first experience with that, and I kind of just grew deeper to see what God can actually do through people, and kind of woke up to to the other side of things where it was like, oh, he can really do a lot more than what I was just taught growing up. Just all right, get up, open your Bible, and then talk to him and then go back rather than you can spend your day just, you know, there's times like this morning, even I spent 20 minutes just I would say meditation because it's not like yoga, but I'll just sit there in silence and just listen to worship music and just see if he has anything to speak to me about, and you know, and just thank him. You know, the the song Gratitude came on by uh Brandon Lake, and I just was thanking him for everything that he's already done for me, you know. So things of that nature that really I didn't used to do that when I was younger, but when I started to really, you know, start from 20, I'd say 2017 and on, I really started to go further into that relationship. relationship and really dive deep and spend that time and it was crazy to see exactly what I was getting into.

L. A. Sprague 22:10

Yeah. Aww. So you feel like that's been better for you? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Yeah. Sounds sounds better.

L. A. Sprague 22:17

That's awesome. I think living in gr gratitude too is so important. Like I know that that's just today like what you heard in the worship music and that focused you on that aspect. But I think that yeah living in gratitude is I mean we're called to be thankful, I believe, in scripture and so that's wonderful, especially when you can focus so much on like negative negativity or like how health might impact you. Like it can be easy to you know it's natural I think to sulk in the negative. And so I think that's really cool that you like take that time and maybe regularly take that time to just sit back and I think let God speak.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

It's important. It's important because I and I just did a tour I do what's called the unexpected tour. I'm gonna I try to do these yearly but I I kind of skip the year. But so I go out and and speak and this last year in 2025 one

Gratitude And Praising God In Pain

SPEAKER_00 23:14

thing I spoke about is praising him in the storm. And like it was just like an important thing for me. Even as I was getting up on stage and and speaking about it I was trying to live it myself too you know when your health is is bad when you're dealing with depression when you're dealing with so much that's going on like my father passing away last August and it was just so much but you all you want to do is kind of feel like miserable everything's going to crap and but in reality like I I as I was speaking about it I was trying to do it myself and praising him in the hard times and thanking him so I've been able to recently just really be more grateful even when things look rough and it's a it's it's a really hard thing to do for people and but it's an important thing to do.

L. A. Sprague 24:14

Yeah absolutely yeah I think it's really difficult and it's like hard to balance because I think that it's easy for us to like go in extremes. So it's hard it's like either like all right I'm gonna go in full denial mode act like this doesn't exist and just like paint like scripture over it to convince myself everything is fine or the opposite where it's like oh like I'm such a victim of this like I'm sulking in my sorrow because everything is so bad and I'm not gonna do anything to try to improve even what I can in my situation. And so it's yeah it's so important to have that middle ground of allowing ourselves to mourn and feel the darkness of it for a time and when necessary right grief is like you know grief isn't linear as people say but then also the harder thing I think is to push through that grief once you've felt it and allowed yourself to be there and like you were talking about praising in the storm like actually like all right I've accepted the storm is here the waves are hitting me I feel them they're cold this sucks but also I gotta keep paddling like I gotta keep going you know yeah absolutely absolutely yeah so you talked about how your health has impacted your journey and somehow I don't know maybe in some ways led you to full time music so what is your some of your chronic illnesses that you struggle with well the main one first off starting with that is something I've dealt with my entire life is epilepsy.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Epilepsy is it for for those who don't know what it is is seizures and stuff like there's different levels of epilepsy where it comes and goes where it's like anywhere from focal seizures to what we call grandma not grandma. You know some

Epilepsy On Tour And Real Risks

SPEAKER_00 26:08

people think that sounds grandma but it's G-R-A-N mall like oh I didn't know that okay yeah so they are those are the ones that typically there's grandma and then there's petite mall but okay there's so many different types of seizures that I mean most of the ones that I deal with are called focal and where I just basically I can stop in the middle of the sentence and my brain just basically resets and I'm forget everything that I'm talking about. I've heard of this as a teacher yeah as a teacher this is tough because there are times when I'm like teaching somebody and then I'm like forget what I'm saying and it's embarrassing because you're like oh God this person's looking at me they don't even know that I have epilepsy they I just got crazy and I don't know what I'm talking about. Right. You know all those things but you know epilepsy has probably been one of the number one things that have impacted my life especially in the last few years I have the first time it really I had a big seizure was 2022. We were about to take off our reclaim the day was about to take off in tour a week week before I had gone to the bathroom and I don't remember what happened but I just remember waking up in a pool of my blood and uh I had broken my nose. Oh my god this was a week before Kingdom Come Festival in 2022 so I performed with broken nose that year but I that was the first time the second time was not it was two years ago it was 2024 and I had just finished a tour with Zana and I we were coming back from Amarillo Texas pulled into a gas station about three or four in the morning and I once again went to the bathroom ironically wow and uh woke up the next thing I know I'm halfway out the stall stall and there's blood everywhere and I'm like okay and I broke my nose again. Oh my gosh yeah so it's that one actually really took a toll on me because it it made my health go on a downward spiral and I was out of commission for a while it it caused severe depression and a lot of different things and at the time my husband was he he I think he had just gotten back from his time with at the army and so it's just kind of one of those things where a a lot a lot was happening so just it it was just a really rough time for me and sometimes it still hits me but if I take care good care of myself if I take my beds keep it under control it's it's fine but some days you know are worse than others and but that mixed with you know chronic depression and chronic anxiety and you know rheumatoid arthritis you know I've got a lot of odds stacked against me that I didn't think that I was gonna have because when I was younger I was like ready to go I barely dealt with my epilepsy because it wasn't even that big of a deal to me I always used to say I had the least amount in the family which my brother and sister both have epilepsy themselves too but now it's like as I got older it's a it's been more of a struggle and so I really have to keep myself healthy especially if I'm going on tour you know I have to really make sure that I'm working out and eating right and everything so that I can not die on tours.

L. A. Sprague 30:01

Yeah please don't would be try not to try not to yeah so you mentioned that for you for epilepsy then it sounds like right now obviously you've had two grandma seizures right and you mentioned that it sounds like you called them you didn't call them petite you called them something else focal and that's where you said when you're talking your brain kind of resets and you kind of just like forget everything would you say that's like like how would you say because I'm sure it's very different how would you say that's different from like you know some people be like oh like you know I walk into your room and forget what I'm grabbing right but this is different like you're having an actual like focal seizure so do you think that there's like different like intensities or like different symptoms what would you say is the difference or would you say they're pretty similar there are different intensities honestly it and you know I I've compared it to a daydream before you know you're like literally just kind of zoning out the the biggest difference though it it it causes it there's a lot of there's electricity in the brain and it's just almost like a small shock and you're just like oh it's like a reset.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Yeah and even if you're mid conversation and the thing why that affects me as a musician is I have to prepare myself for that in case anything happens especially on stage. Now granted with with singing it hasn't really been too much of an issue. That's awesome. It happened maybe a couple times but I typically try to take care of myself in in time for a show. I mean I take care of myself in general but but when it comes to just in case muscle memory is a thing you know or seizures while I'm playing like a big bass or guitar or drums I practice so much that I know everything by muscle memory muscle memory yeah reset my hands are still going. Yep so I have to do that just you know in case anything of that would happen.

L. A. Sprague 32:13

Yeah that makes total sense yeah so what are would you say is that like are seizures is that like the symptom for epilepsy I don't know much about epilepsy or are there other symptoms that come along with it?

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Oh there's always some certain things that'll come along with it. You know there's fatigue and things of that nature fatigue but always feel like when you have are having seizures there you get what's called auras and you just feel terrible and you see in like colored spots sometimes it really just depends on the person.

L. A. Sprague 32:51

But is that like before it happens?

SPEAKER_00 32:54

Oh wow that'd be so scary it's a it's it's a fun time you can tell you can tell sometimes and then that it's it's coming and with the medication that I take too a side effect of that is depression. So it you kind of set up there. So it it's like a mix with a lot of different things that you have and there's you know we my brother my sister and I we all have depression and it sucks and we all take different meds. So it's one of those things where it it really does it really does suck but at the same time you know just makes us stronger in who we are in Christ rather because we're not what our diseases are yeah oh that's bars.

L. A. Sprague 33:47

Yeah that's good. So with your epilepsy you mentioned that if you take your medication and you take care of yourself it seems to kind of keep at bay. What do you mean by like taking care of yourself? What does that look like doing with epilepsy?

SPEAKER_00 34:02

There's a lot that factors into that. Okay. So I mean there is what people don't see behind the scenes is like it's not just like I have

Self Care That Prevents Seizures

SPEAKER_00 34:11

to I show up and play a show. You know to to be able to do what I do I have to be able to take care of myself in exercise and eating correctly managing my stress and sleep which I'm all terrible at that's why it's like that's why I had those two seizures because I was terrible at doing all of that. And so you you just have to really I I learned the hard way for a lot of things of taking care of yourself you know drinking enough water staying hydrated there's so much things that you have to to do to make sure that you are kind of just making it and and just doing as a daily life whereas a normal person I'm not saying that normal people don't have it rough you know they have it rough I mean everybody has their own story but you know as a normal person I've talked with my husband about this to get up in the morning and go even just make coffee and to to do daily chores it's sometimes feels like no it's just normal. For us you know it's like just you wake up in the morning feeling like you got hit by a truck and it's a lot more getting up out of bed. That's also with the depression and anxiety and keeping an eye on that and so on that there's just like a whole load of things on you all of them together it just it doesn't help. Yeah so having to push through physically mentally and spiritually and make sure that you stay healthy by doing those things and exercising and eating correctly not you know stocking up on Oreos and thinking I love Oreos. Making sure that you are now I love Oreos okay don't get me wrong you can't eat them every day of your life you know uh because then you know it's just not good for you. Right. But you know making sure that you're getting the nutrients that you need and that's really the key factor there. Food is probably my worst enemy I used to have a soda addiction still do. I I don't know why I said used to but kind of like one of those things where it's like I'm back and forth with all the time. Yeah I've gotten onto zero sugar sometimes like that more than the actual thing. So I've worked on it for years. That's a big thing. So sugar's like a big thing for me but yeah it's it's really like every little thing can impact. Yeah even just watching you know I used when I was younger I would play like an entire day full of video games because I love video games. I can't even do that anymore because it just messes with my epilepsy by the feeling that and I'm having seizures.

L. A. Sprague 37:12

So it sucks that I can't do half the things that I was able to do you know 15 years ago at the same time what I'm working to do with music and and things like that it's it's worth more than sitting around and being able to play for six right yeah so is lights like is is epilepsy the thing that where if there's bright flashing lights that affects your your you can get seizures.

SPEAKER_00 37:43

Yeah yeah I actually get this question a lot by a lot of people they're like hey how do you do music with lights and stuff yeah it sounds so hard it's when I'm on stage I actually don't really focus on the lights much I look at the people yeah and so because of that and most of the lights are actually facing yeah the audience exactly yep and so it really doesn't bother me plus but if I have like lighting bars behind me and everything if I'm staring straight at them yeah that's gonna hurt. Right I I usually will kind of make off with a a migraine if I'm looking into it. I've not really had problems with having seizures from them. That's awesome being on stage. Now being off stage and in the audience is another story that starts to bother me a little bit and then there it there was one show actually that the promoter bless his heart put a strobe light right on the stage facing me. Oh so that was like oh gosh well I I'm one of those people uh now I can I can go up and say no and I can also do that but at the time I was like I I didn't want to be like oh can you can you move that yeah at the time I was like I I don't want to be a burden um but uh at the time so I just literally went through the entire set with my eyes closed so uh yeah or I look over to the side and and and find different ways so it it was you know you you find ways to make things work.

L. A. Sprague 39:17

Yeah yeah is this is I don't know if this is a silly question. Do sunglasses help? Is that a thing or not? Depends okay I don't know the science behind it so I'm just through just curious.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

I'm horrible with science behind it. You know like I'm also like a a really I can be st stubborn but also really dumb about it. You know my husband would be driving him and I would be driving down the road at night and he's like hey babe there's flashing lights ahead don't look at it and I'm like an idiot I'd be like cool you know that that would be me and he's like I told you not to look at it. You know it's things like that. So I'm not the smartest but at the same time like I got I got that little kid in me that's just like oh you're gonna tell me no I'm gonna do this oh no do you think that you relate with your body that way too like if your body's like no you can't do this do you try to push it yes oh no Becca I I've had that in my that's I've learned that like I said I've learned a lot of bad lessons the hard way I have been told by many of my friends especially last few years and the close close friends they're like stop being stubborn just let your body rest that I'm like I got too much work to do that's exactly why I end up my health my health ends up failing because I have to take the time to rest. Yep and uh so really in reality it's it's like I push myself too far and I have to be able to know what limits my body can take. And so in the last few years I've been really trying

Rheumatoid Arthritis And Doctor Struggles

SPEAKER_00 41:02

to discover and really know the limits of my body and try to take it easy so I don't push myself to another you know seizure or something feature or you know my rheumatoid arthritis that one hits me sometimes too it's like all my joints at once are inflamed and it sucks and you're just like oh well that's great. Yeah I guess I'm not getting out of bed today.

L. A. Sprague 41:28

Yeah I wanted to ask you about that with playing guitar does it affect your hands as well so does that ever hit you when you're playing guitar? Uh occasionally yeah yeah you just kind of play through it out so what does it feel like like does it feel like they're burning or yeah what's the sensation like a it's a it's like a a sometimes it's a dull sometimes it's a sharp pain but really it's where your joints are connected.

SPEAKER_00 41:56

The worst part usually is my ankles and the my wrist here you'll start to feel them at the same time uh yesterday I had it kind of get get bad and my husband would just like massage right where my feet would connect to my my legs or stuff.

L. A. Sprague 42:16

So it it really depends and I actually don't take medicine for that anymore because I when I went to see my root rheumatologist he wasn't the greatest and um they had given me medicine but he it was just it was just really weird a weird situation and uh I I have a hard time finding a good rheumatologist so sorry to yeah finding doctor good doctors these days sometimes is very hard hard yeah so there's certain things that I you know and I'm sure you would would know about this too is that there's certain things that you have health wise that you know you have yeah but you can't do anything about it because you know you can't find the right doctor to yeah yeah and unless you have all the time and the money or great insurance to cover doctor hopping yeah it's it can be really hard to find. So sometimes you just kind of have to settle with all right you know what I trust in my own research and if I'm able to make it through without the medication that's what I'm gonna do. But then there's other times where you should advocate for yourself.

SPEAKER_00 43:28

So Becca No yeah I I've had to learn that the hard way and and that's why I've kind of gotten better with that and it it's one thing that I've learned especially in the past few years it's it's to take time to take care of yourself. Yeah um I've always taken time to take care of others and everybody's like take care of yourself and I'm like you're a person too yeah and that was a big lesson it took me a while to learn even then sometimes I still mess it up and I'm like I'll take care of you but you know I think that came with learning the value in myself.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:04

And I always wanted to take care of others, but I didn't really feel like I was valuable, especially with the health problems that I had. I was like, ugh.

L. A. Sprague 44:12

Well, and then the whispering voice of depression telling you that too.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

Yeah. So I just like, I'm just a burden to everybody with my health. So, you know, I'm just gonna help others and and push myself to prove to others that I'm I can do what normal Oh no, dude, I get that so hard. Yeah. Yeah. And uh it fortunately never went ended well for me. So I had to really, I had to really kind of scale down and and learn that hey, you gotta take some time for you and you do matter. The biggest thing was for me when I went out to for the first unexpected tour, the message was for looking at myself the way that God looks at me through like his looking glass. And wow, that was a big that was a big thing for me because it was hard. It was hard. And I think that opened my eyes a lot too because of feeling like a burden to my husband, my family, everything. Yeah, and um, you know, at the time my husband was gone at basic training for the army, and you know, like it sucked that he had to go do that for finances while I was awaiting touring and and things of that nature.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:30

But you know, I really had to to to learn some hard lessons of being able to love myself even though I messed up. Like so that was the the the biggest thing and finding my value not in other people but through Christ.

L. A. Sprague 45:47

That was another so yeah, yeah. I would love to hear more about how you did that. First, I do have a question regarding depression. Yeah, I just wonder if you could share a little bit of what that experience has been like because I know depression is pretty pretty widely known now and pretty widely

Depression, Suicidal Crisis, Hope Remains

L. A. Sprague 46:08

accepted, which is good. Like we've gotten past the well, we're getting past the point of denial that it exists. That's cool. But everybody's experience is different, and there's still, you know, some stigma or some assumptions regarding depression. So I know that you had mentioned that depression has been extreme for you and chronic, so it's been a long-term thing for you. What yeah, what is your what is your struggle with depression looked like, and how has that impacted your health?

SPEAKER_00 46:45

That's a very broad question to answer. I can narrow it if you want. I mean, just because depression is just, you know, I'll I'll start with this. There's there's a stigma with with depression in nowadays where it's like everybody believes that everybody has a mental illness. And I wouldn't be surprised, but you know, I get like just just as I get frustrated with any sickness in people claiming that they have sickness, they do it for people who do it for attention just really frustrate me. But you know, when it comes down to mental illness, the people that joke about it and they're like, oh, I have this, and then you know, it's kind of one of those things where it's like, you know, some of those people don't understand what exactly depression is. And depression is not just a, oh, I'm sad, it's a thing that is it is a constant, and it's sometimes it's spiritual and sometimes it's physical, and sometimes it's spiritual attacks where you know you you really feel like the the the devil and his lackeys are coming at you, and but other times you know that it's just a part of your brain that's not kind of working very well. And throughout my time, you know, a lot of the depression has been, you know, I I even had one point la this past week where there there could be triggers and but there wasn't. You know, there was a point in my time where I was depressed, and I had no reason to be, but my brain would search for answers for that, and so it's really hard to kind of pinpoint because there's so many different directions depression goes. And so, you know, I I I definitely spent a lot of time suicidal. Um a lot of time, you know, they they've told me I needed to go to therapy. Granted, I have not gone to therapy yet. So, but I do have medications for it and to keep it, you know, at bay and and things like that. And really it was one of those things where you had to it took years to kind of figure out and I had a doctor recently in the past few years tell me that with depression comes irritability, and why I was also getting irritable. And and so with that, there's so many things that you know, there's times where you think things and there's lies that are just fed into your brain that aren't even true, and you know, it'll just feed and feed and feed and build, and then you're basically building this entire like scenario in your head that's not even real, and you're like depressed about it, and you know, you know what? You know, like it's it's awful, and you know, like and I know many people that struggle with that, and it it's all part of that, and it builds up and it just tears you down. Yeah, really, I had to get to the point where I could rationalize my thinking, slow it down, and be like, okay, is this my thoughts or is this like my depression? Is this a spirit like a demonic attack? Is this something of that nature? Like, what am I finding here? Because this is not me, you know, and so I really had to kind of take a step back and like, okay, is this really happening? Like, I'm am I getting depressed? Am I overthinking things? Am I doing this for the wrong reason? And so really it it did a number for a while on my marriage because I would have refused to take medications. And we the we came out with a song last year called Hope Remains, which was about my depression and this experience specifically, but we got to a point where we were in a very stressful point, and my husband and I had a disagreement, and I uh held a gun in my hand for about 15 minutes, about to end my life. And I realized that I had so much to live for, and including my son, my family, I had so much, and there's that still small voice in there that says, Hope still remains inside the ashes of your heart. So the best way that I can look at it a lot of times with depression is that you've got a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, and you in the middle trying to rationalize everything when things are this is bad, but this is good and overwhelming thought process. And so I really just try to learn to rationalize my thoughts and make sure that what I knew was truth was was the real deal. And that you know, even when things got hard in marriage, that I was able to sit there and talk over talk it over with my husband and be open-minded that none of the stuff that he says is supposed to be something that hurts me. He wants he doesn't intend to hurt me at all, yeah. And uh none of the stuff I say was should be intending to hurt him.

SPEAKER_02 52:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 52:09

And that goes with every relationship that I have. So yeah.

L. A. Sprague 52:13

Do you have any specific way that you are able to like you talked about basically trying to think more logically? Do you have a certain like process or tool that helps you do that?

Meds, Thought Work, And Slowing Thoughts

SPEAKER_00 52:29

I keep my mouth shut.

unknown 52:31

Okay. That's a big one.

SPEAKER_00 52:32

That's a big one. Um, you know, you don't I mean that that so a lot of it, like I said, some parts of depression is irritability. And that actually was said to me by my doctor. And when I started taking medicine after, because my husband wanted me to take medicine for a while, and that's where that whole thing and I got on it, and God, I just feel amazing after that. I have a medicine that's actually very neutral, so it's not like making me into zombie brain good. Thank God. But when I got on it, I was able to slow my thoughts down. Like I would get all these same thoughts, but I would be like, What why am I thinking this? That's not true, you know. Like, I would be able to just stop talking and not say things like right off as I think them. Yeah, like the truth. Yeah, that's awesome. So it's kind of one of those things where you have to be able to learn to be patient with yourself, yeah. Really, really think and really take the time to just, you know, and it's something that you have to communicate with whoever you're talking with, whether it's best friend, friend, mom, dad, your partner, whatever it is, whoever you're talking to, you have to be able to rationalize those thoughts before they speak. And that's just not dealing with anger, but that's like you know, if you're sad and your head is created this scenario, yeah. Yep. It's good to be honest about it, but it's also like good to think about hey, is this real? Is this is this real?

L. A. Sprague 54:11

Yeah. Have you have you heard of Thought Work before? I don't think I have. Okay. I'm gonna I'm gonna share this for the audience, and you can take and do with it as you wish. And I think it's so good that like you're talking about how like you keep your mouth shut. I need to work on that one. That's like one that I'm like, man, how do you even hone that skill?

unknown 54:37

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 54:38

I I was very hot headed. Very hot.

L. A. Sprague 54:40

Yeah. Well, great job on that. Impressive that you were able to tame that a little bit. And then do you are you comfortable name-dropping your the medications that have helped you?

unknown 54:51

Sure.

L. A. Sprague 54:51

And what they were for? You said that you were on a medication that kind of was neutral for you. What was that medication?

SPEAKER_00 54:59

Uh it's called fluoxetine. Okay. I think it's I think it's a generic Prozac, but it's it's like probably the most neutral meds out there because the one big reason that stops me from getting on medications was I didn't want to feel like a zombie like I did the other.

L. A. Sprague 55:14

And was that for the medication you just said? Is that for depression? Okay, gotcha. Okay, sweet. So so for the audience, and again, Becca, you can do with this as you wish. My friend taught me thought work. And I granted, like, I say I say, like, take this with a grain of salt, because like, as you know, like with dealing with depression, it's not as simple as getting one tool, and then oh, you'll be better, or you'll believe the right things, or you'll feel like it's not that simple. But with medication and tools, we can certainly try to improve what we can, right? Easier for some than for others. Like, for some people, thought work is like a miracle sin, and for other people, it's a lot harder to trudge through, and also like I don't know, maybe it's less effective. So, but so thought work, I'll try to make it quick, is basically you identify what the main thought you're feeling. So, like, I guess a big thing that I struggle with is that like I'm not wanted, right? So, but you kind of have to narrow down, like, you know, maybe you're feeling all these ways, maybe I'm feeling angry, maybe I'm feeling isolated, all these things. So I have to identify, okay, what is one major thought or the major thought that I'm believing right now? It's that I'm not wanted. So then you ask yourself, okay, how does that thought make me feel? Not being wanted makes me feel lonely and angry and sad and all those things, right? Not confident. You list out everything you can think of. And then after that, you ask, all right, I'm thinking I'm not wanted. I'm feeling all these negative emotions. How does that make me act? That makes me act agitated, that makes me act, what's the word? Discontent, but it makes me not intentional with my friends. You know, it makes me act more selfish because I'm trying to like conserve like my safety, right? I'm trying to, and then all right, so if I'm thinking I'm unwanted, I'm feeling essentially unwanted, I'm acting in ways that are probably gonna make people not want to be around me. And then what's the result of that? Well, the result of that is probably that I'm gonna feel worse. I'm going to push myself away from people that I want to be close to. You know, there could be lots of results. So that's the first half. That's the it's like uh, right? That's the spewing that's the hard part.

SPEAKER_00 57:46

Yeah. It's all hard.

L. A. Sprague 57:48

Yeah, it's all hard. Yeah, I would actually say the second half for me personally is harder because it's identifying a true thought. And so you ask yourself, all right, so this is your new true thought. So the original thought was I'm not wanted. What's the actual reality? I am wanted. I'm wanted by God, I'm wanted by others, and deep down, I'm wanted by myself. And all right, so if I really believed I was wanted, how would that make me feel? That would make me feel happy and loved and confident and cool and whatever, you know, like you list out is you basically do the same process but in reverse. All right, how would that make me act if I believed that I was wanted and I felt confident and loved and secure? That would make me be intentional with people, that would make me pursue people, that would make me not, you know, have to act in caution and step cautiously. And then what would the result of all those things be? The result would be that I would be happier, I would have more healthy and honest relationships, I would probably be more whole, and I would also know that I'm wanted and feel wanted and probably better my relationships for that, you know. So anyway, thought work is like just one, you know, a tool that some therapists will use to like for you know depression or whatever. But anyway, it was just the thought because you had mentioned the tool of like just close your mouth. And I love that.

SPEAKER_00 59:28

Absolutely, everything you just mentioned is absolutely the process of what I, you know, because at the end of the day, if uh no matter if what you say is uh you know more angry or if you're sad and you're projecting some scenario that you made up in your head, regardless of what you say, it could possibly hurt others, yeah, and hurt your relationships with others rather than and hurt yourself, yeah. And what you you you start to kind of really think about that process, and you're saying, Hey, this is not beneficial for anybody, and this isn't even real, so why bring it up? Yeah, and leave it there because you know the truth, yeah, yeah, that's awesome.

L. A. Sprague 1:00:12

Easier said than done, but so important. Way so I want to hear about perhaps how how your health ended up pushing you into

Calling, Support Systems, Identity In Christ

L. A. Sprague 1:00:29

more of your music career, but more so I want to hear about how your health and your faith have coincided together and have they impacted each other, and if so, how my health and my music didn't start out together, actually.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:47

It was I I felt like a pretty normal kid when I was younger, and so I didn't really have much struggle with that. Depression was probably the biggest thing that I struggled with, and I'd say with all the addictions that I unfortunately had, misery was probably the worst one. I was addicted to misery, I was addicted to the feeling of being miserable, and that was like my biggest thing when I was younger. But I I've been through that phase where it's like, okay, I don't need these medications because God's gonna heal me. And I'm not saying God can't heal anybody because God can heal anybody. I've seen it with my own eyes. I've seen people that were blind see again in front of right in front of my face. And I've seen his healing, but I I know for me I have not been healed yet, and it really just kind of depends on when or if that'll take place, if that's in God's plan. Yeah, there's so much there that I'm still trying to learn about. But for me, I I went through that period where I stopped taking all my medications and that was like because of like, oh God's God's gonna heal me. And I learned that that was not the right path because God gave us medications for a reason. But I think after I started getting older and started to realize I had more health issues, especially when it came down to I think it what started all a lot of the health issues was kind of like I had some issues with ovaries and and things of that nature. 29 came around or 2019 came around, I had a miscarriage and that was devastating, things of that nature. I just through every period of time I kind of like just you know realize slowly that there are medications there for a reason, and as I get older, my health starts to get worse, and I have to take it more seriously if I'm to go out and and live my calling and be do what God has asked me to do. Yeah. That's honestly that's really where my fire is today. It's it's I wake up and I will spend time with God and then I'll start practicing and and singing and and working out and things of that nature where you know I didn't used to do that. So it's really impacted my the way that I see things now, because I used to just be like, all right, I'm up, drink my coffee, I'll spend time with God, and then I'll just like play video games and then I'll practice and then call it a day. Whereas now it's it's a lot more involved. It's like everything. I I like live and breathe everything, music, you know, with my health, making sure that I'm taking care of everything, and yeah, and I have such an amazing support system. I'm blessed with the friends that I have, which my my two best friends have uh sicknesses as well, chronic illnesses, and so it's like kind of and say I wouldn't say funny, but we all we all joke about it because we're all just like hey, we're all just sick. Yeah, we're all even for Christ, so that's what matters. So yeah. We have a good support system. My husband, I couldn't do it without him. It's awesome. Um it's just it it's an amazing thing to to really have what I have. And I've been through a lot of processes where I'm like, all right, how am I gonna make it through this? I went from being as a kid where I could just do anything, and now it's like every day is a new battle with my health. And so it's changed dramatic dramatically. And I'm just grateful that I'm still alive and I'm here to continue that calling. Because I honestly, the one of those big seizures could have taken me out. Yeah. Uh I could have hit my head the wrong way.

L. A. Sprague 1:04:57

I mean, you broke your nose twice.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:00

Yeah. Yeah, it's a it's a little crooked still. I got a little gap right here, but yeah, it's uh yeah. Yeah, it's I I could have been out, I could have been dead, I could have been. There's so much that I could have been that I wasn't, or that I didn't, it didn't happen because God had gotten me through that and it's made a huge impact on my life. Yeah. Made me that much more grateful for every day that I'm here.

L. A. Sprague 1:05:27

Yeah. Dude, with our last few minutes, I would love for you to talk about. You had mentioned how on one of your unexpected tours, you had talked about seeing ourselves the way that God sees us. I would love for you just to talk about like where, you know, I don't know if there's any scriptures specifically that you get that from or any like ideas of how you get to that point, but I would love to hear where that idea came from and how you think. That we as Christians or even people with chronic illnesses can try to see ourselves the way God sees us, and what what is that? Like, like, how does God see us?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:15

Yeah. I'll be honest, I'm terrible about finding scriptures. That's okay. There was there was a few scriptures that I had, but it just it's been a few years, so I can't remember. Yeah, that's fine. Um, but the the big thing about before I took off on that tour, it was it it was it was it was another life-changing thing where it was like there were some people in my life that had really, really wronged me, like left some huge battle scars. And to this day, I still have some scars, but at the end of the day, I I've forgiven them and I I wish the best for them. And and but it was a struggle to see myself like with value from coming from that. But I've always struggled with that. But after coming out of that situation, it was it was pretty bad. So beforehand, I just heard a voice say, Hey, you need to make it right with this person. And you just before you go out on this tour, you need to start seeing yourself the way that I see you. And that was my that was my mission for that tour. And it was it was a hard thing to do, and still some to still to this day, there are times when I I really struggle with that. But you know, I think back to the verses and and and the parts of the Bible that talk about how he made every bit of us, he knows how many hairs are on our head, he knows everything about us. We were formed before we were even in our mother's womb. He knew everything about us before we were even born. I was like, if that's doesn't tell you that you're loved, then I don't know what is. Because, you know, if you've I went to a conference once, and if you ever seen they talked about pottery in this conference, and if you've ever seen like anybody who sculpts pottery or clay or anything, they really put a lot of time and love and effort into it. And you just think about God being the potter and how he sculpted us together, each and every one of us, every single one of us, designed differently, and the love that he put in. I was like, how could I not think that a God like that loved me and he sent his only son to die for me so I didn't have the punishment of death? And so I really I think about that a lot because he did all this stuff for me just so that and in return, all he wants is for me to love him, to be able to believe like that's crazy to me. That's a that's a that's a love that you can't you can't describe. And so it really kind of meant a lot to me and made me really think about things and the way that I looked at myself, rather than, you know, I I'm not what other people say I am, I'm not what society says I am, I'm not this what the government says in the in the letter, medically frail, all right? I am a daughter of Christ above anything. And that's where my identity is. And if God has it planned for me to go out and do music, no matter what my health is at, I have to take care of myself. That is my part in this, but I'm gonna do it. And you know, I'm not invalid, thank God. But you know, like that's you start to see like when you have doors open, especially too, and you're like, man, like this is just so crazy. And you you wonder every week, you're like, how could you love me this much? Like, but it it's a it's yeah, it's it's a it's a process, it's another one of those processes of like, hey, you know, you have to really think about it and about a God who loves us so much we can't even fathom it.

L. A. Sprague 1:10:40

Yeah, and your chronic illness doesn't affect that state, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Thanks so much for that. Absolutely. Well, do you have any last word before before getting off here for anybody listening with a chronic illness?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:59

Just that your chronic illness doesn't define you. And no matter what people say that you can or can't do and limit, you know, try your best to do within your limits, but you know what you can do. And if God calls you to do something, do it. Like you will feel loved and you are not your illness. Yeah. Thanks so much for being on here, Becca. I really appreciate it. Absolutely. Thanks for having me. I appreciate being here.

L. A. Sprague 1:11:27

Thank you so much for being a part of the Christians with Chronic Illnesses community. Please remember to follow Rate and subscribe to the show. You can also follow us on our socials at CWCI Podcast. And if you're interested in sharing your story, please email us at cwcipodcast

Final Encouragement And How To Connect

L. A. Sprague 1:11:43

at gmail.com. If you are interested in contributing to the production of Christians with chronic illnesses, please see the show notes below for subscriptions starting as low as $1 a month, or email us for a more direct way to give. This show is hosted and produced by Ellie Sprigg, and our incredible logo, thumbnail, and overall CWCI artist is Brianna Middleton. This show is intended for entertainment and encouragement purposes only. Please talk to your doctor before trying anything you hear on this show. Until next Monday.