Reading Your Messages with L. A. Sprague

You can love Jesus and still be worn down to the bone. Today we're doing something simple but surprisingly powerful: reading your messages and responding in real time, with the deep breaths, low energy, and imperfect moments that come with life as a Christian with chronic illness. If you’ve ever wished someone would ask “How are you doing?” and actually mean it, this one is for you.

We talk about depression and chronic illness without sugarcoating it, including what it’s like to be the person who “seems joyful” while privately fighting major depressive disorder. We share why toxic positivity is not the goal and why faith doesn’t require you to pretend you’re okay. Grief, honesty, and real mental health support belong in Christian spaces, and we want this podcast to be one of them.

We also respond to listeners who feel validated for the first time while navigating flares, doctors, and spiritual doubt, plus a parent facing POTS and the daily grind of parenting with chronic illness. We touch on community resources for faith and chronic illness, including Broken and Mended, other podcasts, and how you can connect with us through Discord and our Facebook group. If your faith feels fragile, you’re still welcome here.

If this brought you comfort, please subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more chronically ill believers can find us. What part of your story do you wish someone would finally understand?

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Transcript

Honest Intro And Low-Energy Day

L. A. Sprague 0:00

I'm your Jesus loving and pote host, Elise Brigg. Welcome to Christians with Chronic Illnesses Full transparency to everybody here listening today. First of all, thank you for being here. Couldn't be more transparent than to say I am thankful that you were here. Genuinely, you put a smile on my face, and every time I see that there are people listening to podcasts, I pray to God for them and thank him for you. So thank you for being here. Second of all, I am tired and a wee bit not the greatest mentally. So there will probably not be the greatest editing in this episode and a lot of deep breath intakes and outtakes. Out out inhale and outhell. You know what I mean. So thanks for listening. Might be a messier episode. But hey, this is the life of a Christian with a chronic illness. I'm so happy you're here. Okay, thanks for listening. Onto the episode.

How Are You Really Doing

L. A. Sprague 1:03

Hello. How are you doing? Like you listening, I'm serious. I'm like, I that's such a like cliche question, right? Like, how are you doing? But what if I really want to know? What if I really want to know? How are you doing? You should maybe maybe comment how you're doing or or email me how you're doing or talk to God. Probably first talk to God about how you're doing, but how you doing? Glad you're here. This could either be a great or terrible idea. Today I am responding to private messages, emails, and or comments on public platforms that have been regarding Christians with chronic illnesses. And I will be keeping most of these private. If they were emailed, I will probably give an anonymous or fake name. And if they were published on, you know, public platform, I'll probably leave it. I'll probably leave you exposed for the things you said. So today we're responding to the love for Christians with chronic illnesses.

Listener Love And Community Shoutouts

L. A. Sprague 2:04

Let's go. And as always, if you're listening, please, I would love to hear your comments, your questions, and concerns. So please feel free to comment or leave us an email at cwcipodcast at gmail.com. We're also on all major streaming platforms and social media platforms at CWCI Podcast. So if you want to see us there, that's a great place to. Actually, between me and you, social media is kind of bogus. Let's be so honest about it. But you gotta do what you gotta do. Okay, this one's sweet, and okay. For this one, honestly, I know this woman wouldn't mind me saying that it's her. Carly Clee, you have been such a faithful listener and friend, and I've enjoyed our relationship from getting to know each other through the podcast. So I remember when we interviewed, you said I could have talked to you forever. You are a natural host. I'm so excited for your podcast to come out. It's going to be great. Thank you. This feels kind of now that I'm actually doing this, I'm like, is this this feels kind of arrogant? I just want you guys to know that you're nice, and I'm so thankful for that, okay? Oh, I hope this isn't weird. Anyway, thanks, Carly. You were great to talk to. And if you guys are listening, Carly Clee had an episode where she talks about her journey journey with MCAS and epilepsy and other things. So I would highly encourage you to go check her out. Also, she's a part of Broken and Mended, which is a ministry for Christians with chronic illnesses where they form like small groups and small group material. I want to join a small group so bad. Honestly, like sometimes they do online ones and I just haven't registered yet, and I don't know why. But you guys should check out Carly Klee, she's awesome, and Broken and Mended, great, great place. Carly, same to you. You're awesome to listen to, you're awesome to talk to, and I'm so grateful when you're in

Depression Comment And Being Seen

L. A. Sprague 3:50

my life. Thanks for your message. Okay, this one's super sweet. This is a public one on YouTube, so I'm just gonna say, Hi, my name is David. I recently found your channel and I really like it. Thanks for having the courage to do a very unique channel.

unknown 4:04

David.

L. A. Sprague 4:05

I'm a Christian and suffer from very bad depression. I'm sorry, David. But I'll tell you, seeing your channel makes me smile. Thanks for that. David, it's so nice. Oh my god. Thank you for being here, dude. I know that depression is rough. I don't think I have the severity of depression that you talked about. I know on another comment you had said something about like it's a specific kind, I don't remember the title. Feel free to comment and let me know again what that was called. But it basically makes your body slower and less functional. And I've had that at different seasons and different increments, I think, but I have not been diagnosed with that. I have been diagnosed with a major depressive disorder, similar, but I think probably not quite as severe. So man, David, I'm so happy that you're here, and I'm happy that even amidst such crippling depression that this podcast can make you smile. So thanks for even amidst maybe that heaviness, amidst even typing or talking, being kind of burdensome and taking a lot of energy. Thanks for being willing to type that out, having the taking the energy to type that out and to encourage someone else. I really do appreciate that. And David, I'm so happy you're here. Thank you. Stick around, okay?

Joy Vs Toxic Positivity

L. A. Sprague 5:20

Okay, this one's cute because this is from my mom, and she told me that a woman that I grew up knowing, Jill, shout out to you if you're listening. It's actually so fun because she was like my mom's best friend. I grew up going to her house. They had like the really cool basement with video games and the rocking chair. You guys know that one chair, like the game chair, that's like just black leather, and it's just like it looks like an upside down candy cane you just rock on. Like as an adult, it's like, man, those actually were not like substantial. If you think about it, like if you think about it, it's literally like that thing would not hold you up. But as a kid, it was like this is the vibe. This is the vibe. Anyways, so her her house, Jill, Jill, hi Jill. So happy that you're listening. And my mom let me know that you said that you absolutely love this podcast. You said you believe I have the most amazing heart for Jesus. You think that my joy pours out into in my voice. I I have some comments on that. God is so good. Aww. It must give okay. Yeah, she just basically is happy I'm serving the Lord. And she's hoping that I'll be a blessing to her and many others. Okay, Jill, I want to thank you so much for saying that. And again, I don't want to sound like arrogant, and that's why I kind of want to address this because you talk about my joy and how it pours out in my voice, and I'm so grateful for that. And I must say, I do give glory to God for that, and I'm thankful for what you said as well, because to be honest, as I mentioned, I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and I would say I've struggled with that most of my life, and there have been times that have just been insane. I remember one time getting out of high school and you know, was waiting for my stepdad to come pick me up, and I remember trigger warning for anyone listening, this does have to do with depression and pretty dark thoughts, but I just remember standing there right after getting out of high school and just thinking to myself how I wanted to end it all. And I I can't explain the weight that even trying to smile getting me a little emotional. It was heavy. Yeah. And I remember one of my teachers walking beside me, and here I am sitting in my head thinking about how I just did you guys hear that? That was acid reflex. I'm keeping that in because that's kind of comedic timing. Anyway, and he saw me and he was like, There you are, you know, there she is smiling again. And I've always been known as this person who smiles a lot. And the reason I'm talking about this isn't because I want to be all like, look at me, like I'm such a good Christian, I'm so joyful, I'm so happy despite my circumstances, and yada. No, I want to say that because, like, look at that contrast. I was standing there contemplating suicide essentially as a teenager, and what people around me see is joy and happiness. And of course, some of that is unhealthy, right? A lot of us will push past our emotion and try to survive with humor or with fake happiness or with toxic positivity. Toxic positivity is a thing. If you don't know what it is, you said research it, maybe we could talk about it on this podcast. I think toxic positivity is essentially acting as if everything is okay when it's not, and pushing through, like, ha, everything's fine, even when it's inappropriate. So, for example, like I always everybody goes to the World War II example, gosh. But if you were like, everything's fine, everything's gonna be alright, and like we're just like laughing through World War II, I would say that that's pretty toxic. That's not helpful, that's not helping anyone grieve. Anyway, sidetrack. The reason I'm telling this story about me smiling is because though sometimes it was toxic positivity, sometimes it was me coping through smiling, and in this circumstance it probably was. I also believe that some of that God used for good, right? Because who doesn't love to see a smile? And of course, we want it to be genuine, but not everybody can read our minds. And so I know that throughout my life, people have been encouraged to see me consistently happy and positive and smiling and laughing, and I do love that. I do love being a charismatic person. I do right now, I'm so grateful that I do love my life, I have a great quality life, and I am happy. But the reason I want to talk about this is because I also there are gonna be two things true at one at once. I also am still depressed to be completely honest with you guys. I procrastinated literally before this. Oh, I hate admitting this, but I was burnt out physically, okay, and also emotionally, and so I needed to nap, but I did not want to face my own thoughts because I'm emotionally burnt out too. And so I honestly doom scrolled, and I know that's like, oh my god, that's either like that's so silly that you're making such a big deal out of that, making it sound like this big confession, or oh, you know, that's really not healthy. I would agree with, you know, it's not healthy, and I understand there's a time and a place, but I know that this has been a pattern of mine. And so yeah, Jill, basically what I want to what I wanted to say is thank you for saying that. Thank you that you hear the joy of Christ flowing through me, I hope. And that this podcast is encouraging to you because I want it to be. I want it to be encouraging and inspiring and uplifting for you and for me. And so I'm very grateful that you see Christ's joy in me. Because let me tell you, even at the worst times of my life, I think that's when the Holy Spirit has shown the brightest, and I don't get it. People will feel warmth, they will see a light, something from me that isn't in me. Like, or I guess it is because the Holy Spirit lives in my heart. But do you know what I'm saying? I just I want to say thank you. Thank you so much for for believing that you hear the joy in my voice because I am joyful, okay? I am happy, but sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I'm not. I didn't get diagnosed with major depressive disorder for nothing. And maybe at some point I could share more of my experience with major depressive disorder, but it is hard for me to talk about. I mean, even that one story from high school made me tear up a bit. So anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. Glory goes to God for the joy that you hear in my voice. And for those out there who also have major depressive disorder, and maybe you feel the same way, you're like a Robin Williams of the world who makes everybody else lighter and happier and smilier, but in the inside, all you can think about is the darkness, and all you can feel is the weight of the world crushing you. You are not alone, you are not alone, and the Holy Spirit can use you to bring joy to others even in your most depressing hours. And it is okay to grieve and to mourn. It you don't have to live in a toxic positivity. It is okay to genuinely accept that you were feeling pain, even if you don't know why, even if you're not diagnosed yet. And I would encourage you to strive towards an answer, but more than that, strive towards healing, towards truly accepting what you are feeling and feeling it, giving the space for that. Don't be like me and just do away your emotions instead of taking the nap you need, or instead of journaling, or instead of calling that friend. You guys, you can do better. Okay, do better. Would be my encouragement personally. Anyway, Jill, thanks so much for for letting my mom know. That's so sweet. Alright,

Faith Struggles And God’s Mercy

L. A. Sprague 13:36

this other person, we'll call them ad AD for you know cryptic reasons. Hi LA, I'm not sure if you'll get this message on it or not, but I just wanted to reach out and say how encouraged I am by this podcast. I came across it a few days ago and have felt so validated and understood in a way that I haven't before, especially navigating chronic illness. Girl, praise God, that's why we made this space. I have been battling mine for a little over three years, her chronic illness, and finally making way with my doctors on what's going on. Yes, Queen! But my flares have been getting a lot worse. Guys, I'm so sorry. My husband keeps walking in and interrupting. Yeah.

unknown 14:36

Okay.

L. A. Sprague 14:38

Love you, Paul. Anyway, moving on. I've been struggling especially as a believer. Aw, dude. I was praying and looking for a podcast or something that may be able to help me through what I'm feeling. Girl, don't we all? I came across your episode about vulnerability and it was so comforting. I just wanted to thank you for sharing this podcast and using what you've been through to share with others. This is probably very random, but I'm looking forward to more episodes and being a listener. I appreciate it so much. Dude, 80, add listen, bud. You were so so sweet, okay? You're so sweet, and I'm so thankful that my life has been filled with a little bit of sweetness today because of that message that you left. Thank you. We did see the message because we checked them. We even check, sometimes we check our spam, we check our requested. I know dangerous to risk check request trip to check spam. I know it's dangerous, but anyway, add thank you. I'm so happy that it's been encouraging to you. And I just want to say it is super valid that you were looking for something to kind of be with you and navigate with you, whatever, in your chronic illness and your faith, because Girl, that's what I was looking for, and I couldn't find any resources, and that's why we created this podcast. So I'm so happy that you found us, and there are many others. If you guys go to our website, it's through bus route. I can probably link the website below. But if you go there, there are podcasts that we enjoy, and there are a few others that have to do with Christianity and chronic illness. And so, add I hope that it will be encouraging for you. Examples are singing through fire, in the seams, chronic illness club, or no, invisible illness club, and some others. So, anyway, just want you to know that there are more resources out there other than this podcast. And you mentioned that you've been struggling, especially as a believer in this. Dude, I want you to know me too. I think the most humbling thing about having a podcast and talking about like real issues is realizing how weak my faith is. And it's honestly kind of humiliating getting on here and recording like every week, every other week with you guys because I know my faults, I know my doubts, I know my thoughts and my beliefs, and it makes me feel disqualified to be doing this with you guys, to be honest. So I just want to thank you guys so much for giving me a chance, at least. And I want to validate you that it's okay that you are struggling as a believer. I'm not really sure what that entails. I don't know if that means doubt. I don't know if that means you don't even believe anymore. I don't know if that means maybe you're just agnostic. I don't know what I don't know what that means, dude. But I want you to know that you are welcome here no matter where you are in your faith journey, and you are not alone, and I would say not even at fault for where you are doubting. God loves you, and I believe that his mercy is infinite. I believe that he is a an insane amount of mercy for us for where we don't understand and that he remembers that we are dust. So when we struggle to understand, when we genuinely don't believe, no matter how hard we've tried, I personally believe that Jesus' mercy reaches even there. So add, thanks for being here. Thank you for reaching out. I really am so happy for this journey with your doctors. I'm happy they're finally able to get some answers for you. And dude, I I wish you the very best. And I hope that the flares easy out. Easy. Oh my god. You know what I mean. I hope they they're less aggressive. Wow.

unknown 18:35

Okay.

L. A. Sprague 18:36

Anyways, moving on.

Supporting Family Through Chronic Illness

L. A. Sprague 18:39

Another woman messaged me from a I believe I'm not really sure where she's from exactly. I think maybe I met this person in person before, but she messaged me about some family members struggling. And I don't want to go into detail because that's personal here. So if you are the person who we private messaged back and forth a while ago, and it had to do with your family members really struggling with chronic illness, struggling with supporting each other in a loving and godly way, thank you so much for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear that your family is struggling, especially the younger family members at such a young age who have a chronic illness, and then to be surrounded by people that aren't supportive can be so heartbreaking. And so I'm happy that you are there to love them and to show them the love and understanding that Christ has for us in our illness, even when that person, that family member for yours, might feel a lot of shame, might not even believe in God. I'm so grateful that they have someone like you in their life to help them navigate that and to see the love of God. So thanks so much for being there for them. I just want to encourage you to keep on pressing forward, keep loving her, even though she is states away from you, and even though you don't have you know custody over her. I just it is so I can't imagine it, it would be so incredibly freeing to have an older family member like you in in my life, and I think my grandma's kind of like this too. Hi grandma, love you if you're listening. But it's so incredibly important to have a good support system of people who love you, who understand you, who believe you, and who will show you the love of God no matter what. So please, please keep encouraging her. I know that it can be hard. Sometimes we lose our way, sometimes we get really down on ourselves, sometimes we just don't even believe in God anymore. Just keep loving her, just keep affirming her that she can listen to her body. Just keep telling her that you believe her and that she needs to believe in herself. And if she has the space for this, encourage her that God knows what she's going through as well, even better than she does. And God believes her even if nobody else did. I just I love this. I love you. I love that you are there for a younger family member who's not surrounded by support, and I love that you want to be there for her. I am praying for her and praying for you guys. I I absolutely love that you're you love this family member so deeply. And kudos to you. So I hope you stick around. I hope that your family heals, and I hope that your younger family member is encouraged, feels the love of God, and maybe someday, if not already, we'll come to know him. David

How To Become A Guest

L. A. Sprague 21:44

Heflin, bro. Okay. I don't think he would mind me sharing this. Again, David Heflin is from In the Seams, the podcast, and again, that is from Broken and Mended, which is the ministry, the small group ministry for Christians with chronic illnesses.

unknown 21:59

I

L. A. Sprague 22:00

Interviewed him, and again I highly encourage you to go back and listen to that episode with David Heflin. He has enclosed sync spondylitis. He said, You do such a good job making people feel comfortable, and that makes it so much easier to feel to share freely. So thanks for that, David. I honestly feel super like honored that you said that, and that's such a a goal and a hope of ours is that when people are interviewed, and by the way, if you aren't interested in being on Christians with chronic illnesses, feel free to to send us an email, cwcapodcast at gmail.com. Anyways, but thank you. And again, I give glory to God for that because he's the one who made me this way. First of all, and the second of all, I do pray before I'd say, I mean, God knows if they're all my calls or not, but I do say a prayer before all my calls that I can recall that he will help me to speak in a way that people feel loved and seen, even in the pre-interviews, that he will give us discernment of if we should do the call together and such. So anyway, thanks for that encouragement. If you are interested in being on the show, just a little snippet here. We do a pre-interview first. Well, actually, depending on the situation, if I haven't heard you at all or know anything about you, I'm gonna ask you a few questions. Are you a Christian? Do you or someone you love have a chronic illness, etc.? And then if those answers seem pretty clear, we move on to the pre-interview, which is a 15 to 30 minute unrecorded phone, Zoom call, whatever, where we talk about the interview, what it could look like. I have you sign a pre-interview agreement, we talk we go over the format, things like that. Then if we get past the pre-interview, because we usually take some time to pray and think about if we want you as a guest, if we get past that stage, we go to the interview, which is obviously usually a 45 to an hour and a half conversation, where we talk about your face and chronic illness and sometimes different specialties, right? And then after that is the vetting and editing process where basically we edit your episode and we pray if it's the right fit or not to publish it and when to publish it, if so. So anyway, just saying if you're interested, shameless plug for Christians with chronic illnesses. Anyway, thanks, David, for for emailing me and giving me a little platform there. Wink wink to everyone listening. Okay, anyway.

Parenting With POTS In A Flare

L. A. Sprague 24:41

Oh, scared my goldfish by laughing. Okay, here's a public comment from the Tattooed Housewife. I love that name, first of all. That's great. So you said I'm on to two littles. One and two years old, those are. In fact, two littles. Those are little babies, so cute. I was diagnosed after a long road with POTS and VVS back. Not sure what that is. We'll have to do some research, fam. Oh, oh, I'm a fool. You're just saying VVS. You're not saying VVS back. Because okay. Anyway, so you were saying you're diagnosed with POTS and Vasovagal Syncope back in October last year. Parenting, so you said parenting with a bunch of A's, parenting with chronic illness is hard, hard, hard lol. Yeah, I can imagine. I found your podcast today when I was getting discouraged because I'm three weeks deep into a flare and just wanted to say thank you for what you're doing in these spaces. Dude, thank you. Why are you thinking me? You're the mom with two kids, a one and two-year-old little with pots in a three-week flare. And you're telling me thank you, thank you. Thank you for being alive for your children, thank you for taking care of your babies, dude. Like, that's all I gotta say, honestly. Give yourself some more credit, I've been seriously. You're awesome, okay? I don't really have more to say to that. If you're a mom, if you're a parent with a chronic illness, dude, how are you even doing that? Like here I am 26 with a chronic illness, like thinking about having kids someday, and I'm like, Lord, is it in your will or not? Can I actually be a good parent or not? And I love that. I love that you're doing it, okay? Kudos to you. You're awesome. Thank you for being in your space. And I wish you the best. I hope that your pots flare up is eased out, I guess. And I hope that you get good recommendations and tips for how to parent with a chronic illness and how to, you know, navigate all that with your kids. I wish you all the very best. Thank you for commenting. Thank you. Thank you for being here. Gosh. There are more out there, but I think we're gonna call it a wrap for today. This

Wrap-Up And Ways To Connect

L. A. Sprague 27:19

video is actually a lot longer than I thought it was gonna be. I thought it was gonna be like 10 minutes, and it's not, it's longer than that. So thank you guys for being here. Just as a reminder, this is the halftime show for Christians with chronic illnesses, where I, your house will I spray, answer your comments, questions, and concerns. And if you have any, please, again, I emphasize, email or comment and let us know your thoughts. Thank you so much for being around. If you would like, we have some full-length episodes where we interview Christians with chronic illnesses, many different denominations of Christians, and many different chronic illnesses. So if you don't think you'll find something you like, I think you might be mistaken. So give us a chance. We'd love to have you in the community. Seriously, we've got a Discord chap in the episode description below. We've got a Facebook group in the description below. Alright. Show come hang out with us. We would love to have you. Anyways, um, okay. I love you guys. Thanks for being around. Thanks for your thoughts, your comments, your love. And maybe in the future I will respond to some of the hate that's been going around. Okay, love you. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of the Christians with Chronic Illnesses community. Please remember to follow, rate, and subscribe to the show. You can also follow us on our socials at CWCI Podcast. And if you're interested in sharing your story, please email us at cwcipodcast at gmail.com. If you are interested in contributing to the production of Christians with chronic illnesses, please see the show notes below for subscriptions starting as low as $1 a month, or email us for a more direct way to give. This show is hosted and produced by Ellie Sprague, and our incredible logo, thumbnail, and overall CWCI artist is Brianna Middleton. This show is intended for entertainment and encouragement purposes only. Please talk to your doctor before trying anything you hear on this show. Until next Monday!