Friendship is Magic with L. A. Sprague (Half-time Show)

We sit down for a Halftime Show Q&A that gets real about chronic illness communication, especially the moment you realize your closest friends or family may not understand how much you’re struggling. We talk through a simple approach: ask if they have space, be straightforward about what’s happening physically and emotionally, and clearly name your limits around plans, outings, and expectations.

Then we go to the deeper ache so many chronically ill Christians carry: grieving who you could have been. We don’t pretend it’s a one-and-done process. Grief can come in waves, and it can surprise you even on days when life is good. We share a faith-forward perspective on identity and worth, reminding you that you’re not a backup plan and your life isn’t a waste because your trajectory changed. Chronic illness may reshape your capacity, but it doesn’t erase your purpose or your belovedness.

We also share what encourages us most, from friends who validate what we’re going through to those Holy Spirit moments of gratitude during flares. And yes, there’s a quick, fun detour into favorite female anime characters before we get honest about friendships lost, friendships gained, boundaries, and the kind of community that truly shows up.

If you’re navigating chronic illness, symptoms, disability grief, or strained relationships while trying to hold onto Christian faith, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, rate, and share the show, then leave a comment with the question you want answered next.

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Transcript

Welcome And Halftime Show Setup

L. A. Sprague 0:00

I'm your Jesus loving and pote host, L.A. Sprague. Welcome to Christians with Chronic Illnesses. Hey fam. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the Halftime Show. This is the episode that comes out every other week on Christians with Chronic Illnesses where I answer y'all's questions or I talk about other, you know, chronic illness Christianity related things. But I've been showing you guys stuff that Paul's made me, like food. And ashamedly I say I forgot to wait to eat what he made this week. He made a really good cheesecake. And if you're watching a video, here are the remains. It's just look at the plate my mom gave me though. It's like, if you're listening, it's like it's giving like Japanese tea plate. You know, it's got some like cherry blossom tree flowers and stuff. It's nice. Anyway, it was good. It was like a chocolate cheesecake. Anyway, I'm gonna answer some of your guys' questions.

How To Send Questions In

L. A. Sprague 1:19

Let's go. And I might as well say it from the onset. If you are listening, I would love to hear your comments and your questions. So feel free to comment below or email cwcipodcast at gmail.com and I will gladly get back to you. If you can't think of anything to comment, if you would just drop us an orange heart in the comments below that gives us some traction and helps us to reach more chronically ill believers. So yeah, thanks.

Tell Loved Ones The Truth

L. A. Sprague 1:42

Question one from today is from Mimi Herr, U3Z on YouTube. How do you bring it up to close friends and family that you are struggling worse than they think you are? Thanks for asking this question. I really appreciate that. I mean, I guess my first thought would be try not to assume the level of suffering that you think that they assume. Some people might know that you're suffering and just not know quite how to meet you there. But if you know for a fact that maybe they don't realize the depth of your suffering, I would say Mimi. I think your full name's Miriam, if I remember. I think we had some email contact. Hi again, by the way. Yeah, I would say try to have a one-on-one conversation with them if you think that they are safe people to go to that will understand you and care. I mean, I assume so because you said that they are close family and friends. So I would just sit down with them and just tell them how you're doing. And you could even ask, I would recommend asking first. Like, hey, do you have space right now for me to confide in you about something? Do you have space to be someone that can comfort me right now, that can meet me where I'm at? And if they have given you permission to do that, right? If they said yes, if they said of course, whatever, I think that then that opens up an opportunity for you just to be honest about where you're at. Tell them how you're feeling physically, how you're feeling emotionally, and express your limits. If your family and friends are trying to like schedule things for you to do, push you to, you know, do sports or push you to go to certain events with them or come over or go shopping or whatever it is. If they're a good friend and if they are a mature family member who loves you and knows how to care for you well, they're gonna understand that. They're gonna hear where you're at, and they hopefully will ask how they can meet you in that. And you know, a lot of people I think aren't very well learned in how to communicate well. I think most of us aren't, right? Including myself. I mean, that's still something I'm learning every day is how to communicate well. And it gets even more complex when you have a chronic illness. It's just it's a lot to talk about regarding how you care for people and how they care for you. But yeah, I would just say be blunt with them, not blunt, but be straightforward with them. Pull them aside, ask permission first where they're at, and if they are capable and able to meet you where you're at, just express, hey, thank you so much. I appreciate you being willing to talk and having some space for me to confide in you. Right now, I'm just having a really bad day or season or or I'm adjusting to this chronic illness, or this chronic illness is just getting worse in general, and my life might look different than it has. Today might look different than we planned. Are you okay if we try to schedule something else? Are you okay if we try to do something else? Are you okay if we just reschedule? And I would say, especially if it's a parent, you know, you said close family, you know, hey, would you mind helping me get the resources and help that I need? I don't know what I need, but I know that right now how I'm living, this isn't substantial and I need help. And like, thank God for the internet, right? We have Google. You can look up different resources and go to the hospital and hopefully get some encouragement, get some connections. So that would be my advice to you for communicating how badly you're struggling with your family and friends. Best of luck to you. I really do pray that you have receptive and supportive people surrounding you. And if you don't, I want you to hear me. If you don't have those people around you, first of all, I'm so sorry for that. That's insanely difficult and tricky. Second of all, there are people out there who will care for you. There are people out there that will care for you, who will meet you where you're at, and who will love you. Zayle

Grief For The Life Imagined

L. A. Sprague 6:00

TikTok asks, do you ever stop grieving who you could have been? Zaylee, I don't know. I think everybody's journey is different. Everybody experiences grief different, even just generally in life, right? Like grief, as we all know. Well, maybe we don't, I don't know. But it's a pretty common saying right now the grief is not linear. And I honestly think that's so true. It's like I feel like you could, you know, your grieving is a life that you could have lived without chronic illness. And then within a few, you know, weeks, months, days, all of a sudden you're hit with that grief again. And that happens for me personally. I'll be pretty content where I am in life right now. I'm married to an amazing man. I'm in a beautiful part of the country, in my opinion, and um I have such a supportive community, and I am growing in my faith, and I'm so so happy about that. And so most days, you know, I'm pretty satisfied where I'm at. I love doing this podcast, I love talking to you guys, but in my experience, there are still days, at least once a month, if not more than that, where I'm just hit with grief. Where I'm just hit with, wow, I'm not. I mean, I'm about to cry now, so guess that proves it. But like, I'm not where I wanted to be, you know, I'm not who I thought I was gonna be, I'm not where I thought I was gonna be, and probably never will be. And that is heartbreaking. It is devastating. But I want you to know, Zaley, that it's not the end. Just because we're not who we could have been doesn't mean that we are any less than who we could have been. And so it's okay to grieve that. Will it ever stop? I don't know. If if grief is kind of a chronic thing as well, then maybe not. But maybe we'll be able to travel through those cycles of grief together and heal as they come. So my encouragement to use Ailey as you are grieving who you could have been, and your chronic illness has kind of changed your trajectory of your life and your personality, perhaps. My encouragement to you would be know and accept that God made you fearfully and wonderfully, right? We we know that, we've heard that if you've grew up grown up in the church. And how he made you didn't change when your chronic illness came. You are now who God made you to be, okay? You are living the life and the trajectory that God saw for you, that God planned for you and made for you. You are not a mistake, your life is not a waste because it's different than you thought that it was going to be. And though you can't probably see how this plan is better than the plan that you had in mind, know that you are not a second thought. And the person that you are now is not some sort of second side character or someone that you could have been that God thought maybe. No, you are now the person that God planned and made and chose you to be with your chronic illness. So we can grieve who we would have been, right? Who we thought we would have been, and that can be a process for sure. But my hope, my arm keeps falling asleep, guys. I'm like trying to like lay down but still be upright. But then my arm is falling asleep because I'm leaning on it. Anyway. My hope for you, Zalee, is that even as you grieve, you will accept that you are as God made you to be. You are not a second plan. You are the first and only plan that God had for you, even in your chronic illness, even as that as that has changed you, that was within God's plan. Second of all, I hope that you surround people who will encourage you, accept you, and push this notion in you, speak this truth to you. And third of all, I really pray and hope, I really pray and hope that you accept yourself. I hope that you accept yourself, love yourself, and enjoy who you are now. Mrs.

Encouragement From Friends And God

L. A. Sprague 10:39

P, Wendy Fluke, love you, Mrs. P. I appreciate you so much. What encourages you what encourages you the most? I think what encourages me the most personally, I'll say two things. The first thing that came to mind, though these aren't necessarily in priority order, but it is the first thing that honestly came to mind is the people around me, especially my husband and my best friends, who encourage me, who accept me as I am, and who validate what I'm going through. I think if you're like most people with a chronic illness, you're probably harder on yourself than anybody else is. And I think honestly, that's how most people are, right? Generally, whether you're healthy or not, we are our own worst enemy, right? That's like such a common saying. And I think it's true, you know. I mean, obviously, you know, depending on your theology of Satan, I guess he's technically the worst enemy. But man, we we have a way of beating ourselves up. But there's no condemnation for those of us who are on Christ Jesus, okay? So anyway, I I love when my friends encourage me, stand up for me. And if I'm personally beating myself up for, you know, my chronic illness, and one thing I was actually I actually just interviewed someone, and her episode will be coming out in the future. But one thing we talked about is that, you know, often when we're having a flare in episode, whatever you want to call it, so for me it's pots, and this means that I can get really dizzy, my heart beats really fast, I get really nauseous, sometimes I get migraines, things like that. And you know, sometimes when I'm at home laying down, either to prevent a pots episode from coming, so for preventative measures, or I'm in the middle of having a POTS episode, sometimes I just don't want to do anything because it's like, man, I'm shaming myself. I'm almost punishing myself because my husband's off at work, you know, and everybody else is being productive while I'm here laying in bed. So why would I embellish myself with my favorite show? Why would I play a video game? Why would I, you know, watch social media, whatever? And the reality is that we didn't choose this. We didn't choose this, and we don't need to punish ourselves for it. And it's actually probably gonna help us to get better if we give ourselves some relief and something else to think about. So, one of the things that encourages me the most is when, especially my husband, when I'm in those moments of beating myself up, of treating myself poorly and shaming myself and just living in this darkness, which I think is like my main mode of thinking right now, if I'm completely honest with you. But when he steps in, when my best friends step in and they say, Hey, this isn't your fault. It's okay. You need to lay down, you need to put on a show that you really enjoy, you need to call a friend. That is so encouraging to me. Just to be allowed and given the verbal permission, even though really I don't need it from anyone. It's just I need God to know, right? I need God to be the one who has full knowledge of me and my heart's intentions and desires, and he's the one who gives me permission to get the rest that I need, right? That's a command to get rest in scripture. And so, really, what I need is to have integrity with God, but it is so encouraging with when people around me can speak that into me as well. And secondly, what's very encouraging to me personally is when I am having an episode and I hear a truth of God, or when the Holy Spirit leads me. So, for example, I was having my migraine the other day, and I, you know, just completely had to shut everything out. I could barely move. If I moved, I got dizzy, lights were off, there was no audio stimulus, I had things over my eyes to cover my eyes, I had my legs lifted, right? I was trying to just get through the pain, but I just felt so much nausea and dizziness, and I just kept saying, This hurts, this hurts. And it was almost as if like the Holy Spirit led me and just led me to be grateful, and so I started lifting off things I was grateful for in that moment. I am grateful for a husband who loves me enough to go get me electrolytes and have a sandwich. I am grateful for this comfy bed that I'm laying in. I'm grateful for this air conditioning, I'm grateful for the fan that's helping me cool off. And so I think those moments when the Holy Spirit leads you to supernaturally be grateful in moments where anybody would suit like totally understand you to be lying in despair. So people are very encouraging, can be very encouraging, and when God Himself gives you permission to love yourself is just beautiful, beautiful. Typey 28

A Quick Anime Detour

L. A. Sprague 16:00

Okay, you know who you are on YouTube. Alright, I'm not even gonna try to read this username, but you said who is the best female anime character? Now I'm just saying. Good question. So for me personally, let's see if I can remember her name. She's on Fruits Basket. Toru? Toru Toru. I can't pronounce that like soft R. You know who I'm talking about if you watch Fruits Basket. And shout out to you, Leslie, my friend Leslie from high school, lovely little sister Leslie Del Carpathia, because you introduced me to that show. And at first I was like kind of into it, kinda not. I was like kind of trying to like feel out anime. And yeah, like I watched it again later on, and it's such a cute show. I love I love her personality. She's just such like, if you're an Enneagram fan, please don't like, guys, don't cancel me for recommending the Enneagram. I'm not recommending per se, though I actually do. Sure, why not? The Enneagram's cool. Anyway, I know it's not scientifically backed, okay, but it's still fun, it's self-discovery, whatever. Anyway, but I think she's definitely a type 9 on the Enneagram. My husband's also a type 9, so that's kind of fun. But she just like loves people, major people pleaser, sees the best in people no matter what they do to her. Yeah, Toto's great. What about you guys? Who's your favorite anime anime female character? Let me know. Oh my gosh. This question also kind of talks about friendship.

Friendships Changed By Chronic Illness

L. A. Sprague 17:35

This is like the friendship episode. This look cute, like my little pony. Like, what is that? Yeah. Friendship is magic. Anyway, how has chronic illness affected your interpersonal relationships? Have you lost and gained friends through chronic illness? And I believe, yep, this was my beautiful friend Maddie that asked this. Maddie, you're great. Top notch. Good friend right there. Maddie Page, everybody. I would say yes to both. I have lost and gained friends through chronic illness. And let me explain. I have had friends with chronic illness on the negative side. Let's start negative and on a positive note, right? I have had friends with chronic illness. God bless their hearts. Chronic illness is a very, very difficult thing to deal with. And we're talking physical and mental chronic illness, right? It's it can kill you. It's literally a chronic illness and sometimes terminal illness. And so by no means is it an easy thing to cope with to grow through. So my heart goes out to these people, for sure. But I have had a number of friends. But they had become so swallowed by their chronic illness that they started using it for pity to manipulate people, and I just couldn't do it. That's what I'm saying isn't a good or a bad thing. I I personally just chose in my relationship with them, it was not appropriate for me to keep allowing them to feed off of me. And especially with me also having a chronic illness and limited energy, I just couldn't keep feeding that. And especially because they didn't give back. And even when we'd communicate boundaries and needs, they would either just get offended and act kind of narcissistic, or it would end up just being about them again. And so what's heartbreaking to me is that these people have chronic illnesses and they were not able to, in a way, survive them because though they're still living people, they're not the friend that I thought that I knew. And so I say with a sorrowful heart, I have lost relationships through chronic illness. On the bright side of me having a chronic illness, I have actually had strengthened relationships in my life with my chronic illness. God has really blessed me to give me some incredible friends. Shout out to Michaela, Brie, Emma, Katia, oh my goodness, Carolyn, Hannah, Leah, okay, you all know who you are. Maddie, who's who commented. Now I'm just wanting to like go through a roster. I love you guys so much, and I'm so grateful for you. Because even through the chaos, even through the hardship, and of course, my husband, you guys have been this strong community, this Just this wall of strength, just willing to lift me up, willing to trust me when I say that I'm struggling and I can't do something, willing to push me to rest, and willing to push me to do what's best for me. Some of you have even gone to hospitals with me and stood up for me when the doctor was there. And so I am eternally grateful and honored and privileged. And sometimes I just look at my wall of my pictures of friend my friends and I cry because I'm so grateful that I genuinely believe I have the best friends in the world. And through this podcast, if you're listening, I have met some of the most beautiful souls through this podcast. David Heflin with Broken and Mended, Carly and Carly Clee with Broken and Mended, Benjamin Buckland with Tried by Fire, Chronic Yeah Undefeated. You guys have been so incredibly supportive and loving. Keith Scarillo, my uncle, my my adapted grandmother, Miss Sheila. You guys really helped me to feel loved and to keep going and to know that this podcast is actually doing something productive. And so I just want to thank all of you for being relationships that I have gained through my chronic illness. And I thank God for each one of you. And if you are listening, there are so many of you that have commented or private messaged that this show has encouraged you. And I just want to give glory to God for that because He's the one who gave me this crazy life and this crazy health condition. And you guys are the ones sticking around who are trusting me, who are willing to be open and to learn. And I'm so thankful for you. So thank you for being here. Thank you for being the friends that I have gained through chronic illness. And Maddie, thanks again for asking this question. If you made any friends through chronic illness, comment below, tag them, show them some love. And we're we're so grateful for our supporters, so grateful

Closing Thanks And Support Options

L. A. Sprague 24:05

for our advocates. You guys are awesome. Man, we have so many good questions to go. Unfortunately, we're out of time for this halftime show, but I'm so grateful that you listened. I love you all so much. If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below. Give us a review, give us a rating, and let us know how we can better contribute to the journey of Christians with chronic illnesses. I love you guys so much. Thanks for joining this halftime show, and be sure to join us next Monday for a full-length episode where we interview a Christian with chronic illness. Ta-ta! Thank you so much for being a part of the Christians with chronic illnesses community. Please remember to follow Rate and subscribe to the show. You can also follow us on our socials at CWCI Podcast. And if you're interested in sharing your story, please email us at cwcipodcast at gmail.com. If you are interested in contributing to the production of Christians with chronic illnesses, please see the show notes below for subscriptions starting as low as $1 a month, or email us for a more direct way to give. This show is hosted and produced by Ellie Sprague, and our incredible logo, thumbnail, and overall CWCI artist is Brianna Middleton. This show is intended for entertainment and encouragement purposes only. Please talk to your doctor before trying anything you hear on this show. Until next Monday.