Your Ability is Not Your Value - Half-Time Show with L. A. Sprague

What if you aren't defined by what you can do, but by who you are? For listeners of faith, L. A. addresses the pressure to “believe it away.” She shares gentler ways to pray, scriptures that allow lament, and how to love without implying blame for unhealed bodies. Then she names both sides of the ledger—lost autonomy and career momentum, yes, but also surprising gains: a patient, joyful marriage; deeper compassion; and a redefined purpose grounded in inherent worth rather than output. The throughline is simple and strong: your value isn’t measured by steps taken or hours worked. It’s anchored in being human, being loved, and being here.

L. A. Sprague opens up about living with POTS and how ordinary moments—sitting upright, driving a mile, bright lights through a window—can tilt a whole day. The conversation moves from raw honesty about loss to a vision for accessibility that lets people participate without apology: stools in stores, flexible workplaces, normalized wheelchair use, affordable electrolytes, and church spaces where lying down isn’t a spectacle but a supported choice.

We also unpack the rhythm of good days and bad days. On lighter days, L. A.  reconnects with friends, lifts at the gym, and pours energy into the podcast. On heavy days, she shuts out every stimulus and chooses rest. That’s where the mental battle runs loud. So we get practical about support: ask specific questions, offer options when brain fog hits, reduce light and noise, bring meals and hydration, and honor the need for space. Presence beats platitudes. Small acts carry big dignity.

Listen to learn, to feel seen, and to leave with clear ways to help the people you love. If this resonates, share it with a friend, subscribe for more conversations like this, and leave a review with one thing you want to see change in your community.

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Transcript

Welcome And Listener Questions

L. A. 0:01

I'm your Jesus loving and pote host, L. A. Sprague. Welcome to Christians with chronic illnesses. I'm so happy to be here with you for another halftime show where I'm gonna be answering your questions. Forgive me if you hear my goldfish in the background. We recently got a fish and a snail, and uh the tank might be a little loud. Also, I'm recovering from the flu, so hopefully we can get through this and forgive me for any breathlessness. Our first question today comes from a dear friend of mine named Maddie Page. Love you so much. Thanks for commenting. Great questions. Your question is what are normal environments, in quotes, normal expectations or things that are actually difficult for you as

When Chronic Illness Makes "Normal" Difficult

L. A. 1:04

someone with a specific chronic illness? If the world would be customized to you, what would it look like? This is a good question. I'm gonna break it into two parts. The first part. What are normal environments, expectations, or things that are actually difficult for you to do as someone with a specific chronic illness? So again, feel free to comment your thoughts. As a chronically ill person, I'm going to go ahead and speak from my experience. So if you listen to chronic or Christians with chronic illnesses, you know that I have pots. And normal things that can be hard for me to do vary. It can be as simple as standing to even sitting up like this, running, walking, lifting things. So kind of anything. A symptom of POTS is light sensitivity, and so sometimes even just being outside or having the windows open or lights on can be very difficult because it's painful and lots of migraines. I can't drive long distances and sometimes not even short distances. One time I was going down the road to go to the gym and had to turn back before I was even a mile down the road because I was so dizzy and experiencing so many symptoms. So for me, this ranges because day-to-day is different. Some days I can drive really long distances. Some days I can run at the gym for a little bit. And other days it's like not too big of an issue if I'm sitting or standing. Whereas other days, like it's been recently since I got the flu and that exasperates symptoms, it's very hard for me even to go to the grocery store. So I'm getting emotional. It's really hard for me even to go to the grocery store without getting dizzy or lightheaded or just feeling like I'm gonna pass out. So those are normal things. Working, you know, I couldn't be a cashier, trust me. I tried. And there are some days that I have to cancel plans with friends just because on really hard days, all you can really do is lay down with a pillow over your eyes to block out the light, turn off all the noises, and just pray to God that you feel better soon. And other days you might be able to clean completely effortlessly. Like I personally have a like part part-time job where I go and I clean for six hours, but I couldn't do six hours all in one shirt. So I do about two to three hours per day, depending on how I'm feeling. And this week actually I had to call off because again, I can't even go to the grocery store right now without feeling like

Career Dreams, Faith, And Starting The Podcast

L. A. 4:00

I'm gonna pass out. So those are some normal things that are a hindrance for me. And I think the biggest loss for me, oh I that's tricky because driving was a big one, and I'm so grateful to God that my pots is not so severe that typically I can at least drive to the store or the gym, usually, and I'm very grateful for that. I think the biggest loss has probably been career. I used to have a lot of drive, and I am I think a pretty good worker, and really wanted to be a career woman, wanted to be a missionary, someone who goes overseas, and that's a lot of work. It's a really hard thing to be a missionary, it can be pretty grueling, and I'm I'm just at the point now with my limits that I'm probably not able to do that, and I'm having to learn now. What do I do? How do I act within the limitations I have now? And that's why I started this podcast, Christians with Chronic Illnesses, because I wanted to have something that I could do within my abilities to benefit society and give me something to do and hopefully benefit you guys. And I also noticed there was such a lack of Christian influence within the chronic illness world, or at least a lack of loud presence or voice for the chronic, chronically ill community of believers. So, anyways, those are some of the things that are limiting to me. Work, driving, sometimes even just sitting up working on podcast stuff on the computer. Those are some of the limitations that are difficult for me. And other days, it's perfectly fine. If the world could be customized to you, what would it look like? Probably lots of

What if the World was Chronic Illness Friendly?

L. A. 6:00

people in wheelchairs, because it would make it less awkward for me to use a wheelchair in the store when I need to use a wheelchair. And I don't mean that like everyone would be chronically ill, but like it's more acceptable, I guess, or more common just to use a wheelchair if you need to, or or one to. And so I think for a world that would be ideal for me would be more people just open and not caring what it is that you need. In other words, people not judging or assuming. Thankfully, I haven't come across that very much, but it's a big fear of mine. Because some people are cool. Not having to work a full-time job to survive would also be great, unrealistic, but you're asking. Electrolytes are everywhere, fully accessible, healthy, like non-toxic, no food coloring, cheap, accessible electrolytes would just be everywhere. And at your grasp, there would be stools everywhere. I'm so serious. Like you go to the grocery store, there's somewhere to sit. There's like a bench or a stool. And workplaces would be more accessible and more flexible. Churches, this is such a big one. Churches would have a like a row or two or a room in the back for ill people that they can go and lay down on a couch or put their feet up while the sermon is going so that you're not a disturbance or creating attention towards yourself during the sermon. Thanks for that question, Maddie.

Good Days Versus Bad Days

L. A. 7:41

This next question comes from my sister, Sarah. She said, What do you do on your good days and what do you do on your bad days? Again, I will speak for me personally. Feel free to comment your thoughts below. On my good days, I typically like to hang out with friends, hang out with my amazing, beautiful husband, work on my podcast, go for a walk, go to the gym, listen to music. On a good day, I might be able to function pretty much like a normal person, which I'm so, so grateful for. And on hard days, it depends on the level of hard. Some days are hard enough to where I just can't stand and get dizzy if I even move. So I'm able then to lay in bed and maybe watch some TV, scroll social media, or again listen to music. However, on really hard days, like I had a sometime yesterday where I had to do this, you just have to completely block out everything because every single stimulus seems to bring problems. So I laid in bed with a pillow over my eyes with the lights off. My husband put a heavy blanket on the window to block out any light, and I had no music, no podcasts, no distractions, just laying in bed in the silence, as if I were going to nap, except for for some reason I can't nap very often. So in that time, it can be easy to just like feel the weight of your chronic illness. It can feel really sad and just debilitating and defeating that. Oh, all I'm doing right now is laying in this bed, not talking to anyone, not doing anything, not benefiting society while my husband's working a full-time job. It can feel super defeating. But some things that you could do in this time and that I've done in the past or even yesterday. One option, obviously, is that you could pray. You could think about what you're going through and how you're feeling with your chronic illness and be honest with yourself and with God, and be thankful for the new perspective that it does give you and the slowness that it forces you to have. A second option that I started yesterday and have done a little bit in the past is you can imagine and just create a whole new

Practical Ways To Support The Chronically Ill

L. A. 10:10

world. For example, I'm thinking of writing a book. Don't know if that'll ever happen. Okay, don't bank on it. But it's a thought, it's always been kind of a desire of mine. And so it was kind of fun to just dream through what that world would look like. What are the characters doing? What are their names? What are the outcomes? And I'm really grateful that I have creative influences around me that do that stuff anyway. And so it encouraged me in my time to take advantage of that creativity. So yeah, that's a great question. Me personally, hard days just depends on how rough it is. And on good days, I really, really love spending time with people a lot. And I love talking to you guys through Christians with chronic illnesses. I absolutely love that. I love hearing your stories and I love connecting with new friends. How do I best support Christians with chronic illnesses as in the people, not the podcast? I think if you're specifically talking about Christians who are chronically ill, there's some pretty basic ways to support them. But I want to talk about also not just for Christians, because Christians are human too. And so I want to talk about basic ways that you can support anyone with a chronic illness as well. How you can support anyone with a chronic illness is listen to them. Ask them if there's anything that they need, and be willing to even offer some assistance. So I've been very blessed that I've had several friends on days that I'm not doing well come and clean my house. I've had my husband again put up blankets on the window to try to block out light and bring me water and electrolytes when I need them. I've had him, he's literally drugged me from the kitchen floor to my bed because I almost passed out and couldn't get off the floor. So I think things that you can do to help people with chronic illnesses is ask, what is it that you need? Do you need anything? And what is it that you need? Because some of us, if you're anything like me, you just want to be left alone. You know that you have a weakness and it's embarrassing, and you know how to take care of yourself for the most part, and so what you kind of want in that moment is some space. But there are other times that are really desperate, like lying on the kitchen floor and needing to get somewhere more comfortable and stable. And there are other small things, bringing them electrolytes, cooking them meals. It's hard when we're having flares to cook meals, or even when we're not having flares, because it takes so incredibly much energy, like to just cook a meal, it takes so much energy that it might wipe our whole energy bank for the day. And so, even offering them, hey, is there anything that I can make you? Can I go to the store for you? Do you just need someone to sit here and listen to what you're going through? Do you need space? Do you need me to bring you your medication? Do you need to put your feet up? Do you need a cool rag? All of these things are practical applications of how you could help chronically sick people. But trust them. Know that they probably know their bodies and know what they need. And sometimes maybe give them a little nudge. Because some of us don't know how to ask for help and don't want to ask for help. And so it could be helpful if you're more aware of their specific chronic illness, you know, maybe triggers and things that could help avoid those triggers, or

Supporting Christians Without Spiritual Pressure

L. A. 13:55

when they've been triggered, you know, some remedies. It could be helpful for you to offer them that assistance. A big thing in the midst of flare up for a lot of us people with chronic illnesses is brain frog. And in that moment, you can't think clearly. You don't know what to say, you don't know what you need. And so hearing some options can actually be really helpful. But at the end of the day, a chronically ill person is just a person with their own autonomy, their own needs, and their own wants. So treat them like a person, believe what it is that they're telling you, affirm that what it is that they're telling you. I'm so sorry, this has got to be really difficult. Is there anything I can do for you? Can I grab your water, grab your medication, help you get to bed, cook you a meal, all those things? Affirm their struggles, give them some options of how you could help them, and trust their response. Specifically, how do you support Christians with chronic illnesses? I think just again, listening, sitting there and just being with them, if that's what they want, even if they can't respond, even if all they can do is lay in bed and hardly move, just just laying there with them as a person so that they don't have to be alone is so incredibly helpful. Praying for them, obviously, praying over them, asking that God would soothe them in their flares, and if you want, pray for healing and trust that God has the right plan for this person. If it would be encouraging to them, perhaps sending them scriptures or sermons about being chronically ill, and specifically about people in the Bible who were chronically ill who God chose not to heal, like Paul, for example. This can be very encouraging to us because as Christians, we are often told that if we just believe enough, have enough faith, obey enough, we'll be healed. And so when that doesn't happen, it leads us to really deeply doubt ourselves or really deeply doubt God. And so in these moments, it's very helpful if you just remind us that we're not necessarily at fault for being sick. And if you could just remind us that God loves us and sits with us in that pain. And if we're mad at him, that's okay. If we doubt him, that's okay. If we disagree with his plan and what he's doing,

Losses: Ability, Autonomy, And Grief

L. A. 16:30

that's all okay. Remind us that we're just human. Just because we're Christian doesn't mean that we have some sort of superpower, or just if we believed enough that God would heal us, that's not a promise. That's the prosperity gospel. And what we need to hear is reminders that we are loved and we don't exactly have to try in those moments. It's okay to get rest and in that moment, probably necessary to rest. So remind us of God's love for us, his unconditional love. Remind us that it's okay that in that moment we might hate him or be angry with him. And remind us that he loves us, even through that. Maybe even send us some worship songs or TikToks or artists that are chronically ill podcasts that could encourage us and help us to relate because such a powerful tool for people who are chronically ill is connecting with those who are also chronically ill, especially Christians, because it can feel so lonely and so crazy to be the only chronically ill Christian that you know. And so helping them to connect to the church that will love them and not be with them with a rod and comfort them in the midst of their flares and chronic illness is so important. Don't let them be lonely, give them their space if that's what they need, and please don't push them with a bunch of scripture, but just just love them, just let them know that you're here for them and help them find resources in the church, online, of other Christians with chronic illnesses like this podcast. Shameless plug. But anyways, it doesn't have to be this podcast. But if you shared it, I would be encouraging. Maddie Page also asks, Do you feel like you gained or lost anything because of your chronic illness? I'm gonna say absolutely. I'm gonna start with the negative of what I feel I've lost, and then go to the positive of what I feel I've gained. Again, if you're chronically ill, I would love to hear your answer to these questions. Help Maddie to know what have you lost and gained as a person with a chronic illness. So for the negatives, I feel I have lost a lot of ability. I used to be a very, very high achiever, typical like high school 4.0 4.0 student, like in college freshman, just super like doing everything, running to the gym in between classes just so I could get a run-in, and being a chapel leader in my choir class and having great grades and doing lots of research and asking questions and hanging out with friends and going to events and working. I used to really, really be involved and a big, big achiever. And for better or for worse, I don't have as much strength to do that anymore. I have lots of time, but I don't really have the ability. So I have personally grieved a lot of loss of. Who I was. I have lost, I feel, some of my dreams of going overseas. That's not impossible now. It could be an option in the future. But I don't feel for me personally right now that that's the best or the safest option.

Gains: Marriage, Compassion, And Perspective

L. A. 20:20

I feel as if I've also lost some form of purpose that I am slowly having to regain. But it's really difficult when you are a very driven, extroverted, energetic person who achieves a lot to have, if not half, more than half of your capability taken from you. This is because of low energy levels. This is because if we push our bodies, we will experience a flood of symptoms. And in my case, my body will literally force me to the ground to lay down, to slow down. And so it feels like also a bit of a loss of autonomy. I don't have as much control over my body as I at least thought I used to have. So loss of control, loss of dreams, loss of some purpose and career. And that's so heavy. You know, a lot of people that lose those things become very depressed, if not suicidal, and I will say I was. So and still am sometimes, especially with the depression. It can just hits in waves sometimes when you know you can't get out of your own bed and all you want to do is hang out with people or work on your podcast. Or it just it's so weird to actually want like to work, you know what I mean? Like every like not everyone hates work, but everybody every now and again is like, oh yes, a sick day. Like I can stay at home and binge TV, but when that's every day of your life is a sick day, it's like, oh my word, I just want to get out of bed. I just want to be able to choose when I can sit down and have TV, maybe in the evening, or you know, like so there's a lot of loss of of autonomy and control. Yeah. So there's loss, there's a lot of loss with chronic illness. It's almost like you become a whole different person, which I talked about a little bit in the last halftime episode. But now for the pause in a woo-hoo turnaround, do I feel like I've gained anything from my chronic illness? Absolutely, and that you got me tearing up. Absolutely. Me personally, I think my biggest gain is my husband, and that sounds so silly, but cute little romantic story, real quick. I was going to live in Chicago and work as a cashier, and probably become English teacher or work with some sort of refugee or ministry agency for a few years before I thought I was gonna go overseas. And I really thought I was going to be single for the rest of my life. And I had accepted that in some pretty big ways. I didn't I wasn't a big like romantic in high school or anything, wasn't really super boy crazy, and had definitely some crushes and some losses in high school and college. But I just never really thought it was gonna be a big option for me, finding someone that was willing to be a missionary with me and potentially willing not to have kids because I was scared to have kids and be a missionary. What if one of us dies? What if something happens? Basically, long story short, I just I accepted that I was probably just not going to have a husband. That's not something I dreamed of. I never dreamed of having a family, of a house, things like that. And when I got sick, I found myself having to leave my job as a cashier because I couldn't stand up and they wouldn't let me sit down on a stool. And

Redefining Purpose Beyond Productivity

L. A. 24:05

I came to this camp where they were very flexible with accommodations and my health, very trusting and understanding of who I was and what I was capable of. And there was this super cute chef, and long story short, we're married now, which is awesome. I love him so much. But that was a process for sure. I did not think I was gonna get married, and I am so happy that and I tell him this all the time if it took me getting a chronic illness to have met him and married him, I would take it over and over again. In no lifeline and no universe would I rather have an able body and be able to follow my dreams than marry my husband who is now my dream. So I absolutely love you, Paul, so much. And he is a huge gain of what I've gotten from being chronically ill. I've also gained a lot of compassion. It's so interesting to me to hear people in my past who I knew that were chronically ill tell me, oh, like you believe me when no one else did. Because here's a little secret between me and you. Between me and you. I had a really hard time believing people who were chronically ill. I really did. And I think I tried showing them compassion, but deep in my heart, in my head, I had so much mistrust and so much disbelief in what they were going through. I was just I I just believed that maybe they were pretending, maybe they were doing it for attention, none of it made sense. Why you'd be better and able to do some things and then the next day you wouldn't. It just didn't make sense to me. And I really struggled with that. I also grew up with the belief that if you just believe enough, if you have enough faith, you will be healed. And maybe that added into that disbelief as well.

Speaker 1 26:00

So something I have gained with being chronically ill is ironically the belief in being chronically ill and being able to trust people who say they're struggling and just just believe them. And even if I still I'm I'm gonna be honest with you guys, I still have some of that doubt, some of that disbelief.

Speaker 2 26:23

And I think caution is okay for anything, for anyone, right? Like, you gotta watch people and their fruit and who they are on a regular basis. But I think I'm at the point where I'm just like, oh now I'm just gonna, yeah, if you say you have a chronic illness, duh, you probably have one. But a huge thing I gained was compassion. A huge thing I gained was to be able to empathize with what you guys are going through as chronically ill people, or if you're listening and you're listening for chronically ill people, I was finally able to empathize and trust with those that we love and know better how to listen, better how to ask questions, better things to say, better things to do. And so I'm very, very grateful for the compassion that it's given me. And I'm still working on trusting. I'm still working on that, but it's given me so much perspective. Another thing that I've gained is I really have to trust in my meaning and purpose as a human being. Trust that God really does have a plan for me and put my value in something other than work, which is so hard. Again, especially when you're a very driven person, you want to be like Taylor Swift level. I am impacting the world, I'm loving the world, I'm creating this community where people love each other and are are blessed and their lives are changed forever, and maybe they hear about God. That's super cool. And so when you were just when God was like, alrighty, part of the plan, you're getting humbled. I hope I'm becoming more humble. I still like fight it so much. I still I fight the chronic illness and its limitations so much. Like even with having the flu on top of a chronic illness last week, I was bedridden for like four days, and then I was like, Alright, I gotta prove I'm not lazy. I'm gonna get out of this bed and I'm gonna go clean a building. And I did it on some day quill. I got cleaned for like an hour and a half, and guess what? I felt horrible. I mean so bad the next few days. And also, I maybe prolonged the sickness because I didn't give myself the rest that I needed.

Speaker 1 28:46

Even a normal person with the flu might struggle for a week or two, and here I am, like, I'm gonna push past.

Speaker 2 28:53

So, anyway, what I'm trying to say is I am gaining, maybe haven't gained yet, or have some, but I'm gaining a new perspective on how to define purpose in my life. I am having to completely reconfigure and work through the plans that I had, the careers that I had, and the purposes that I had for myself that I believed I was called to do. I really did. I really felt like convinced 100% I knew that I was called to be a missionary. And I am having to complete like completely, I'm having to completely override the system that I had to to live a life worth living within my limitations. I'm having to believe that I am worth more than what I can do, I'm worth more than what I can produce, that I am loved just because I'm loved, I am loved because I'm human, I'm loved because God says I'm loved. And even if

Closing Encouragement And Disclaimers

Speaker 2 30:06

I couldn't work another day in my life, my husband tells me this all the time. Even if I couldn't work another day in my life, I am valuable, I am accepted, and I am loved. And people are valuable and accepted and loved even if they can't do anything. Because they're human, because God made them. You guys, if you're listening, one thing I hope that you gain from your chronic illness is knowing that your purpose and your value lie more than in what you can do and what you can handle. They just lie in who you are. Guys, we need to start loving ourselves, accepting ourselves, and being okay with our limits. I know it's so hard not to shame ourselves when we're not who we used to be and we're scared of what people think. But let one thing that we can gain from our chronic illness be a new, glorious, beautiful, true, unbreakable perspective of ourselves. Okay. I'm off my soapbox. I'm off my soapbox. Thank you so much for listening to the halftime show. I really appreciated these questions a lot. And I hope that you guys enjoyed the comments and that you enjoyed what I had to say. Please comment any questions that you have for the halftime show. Comment any responses, any thoughts that you had throughout this specific episode. And I love you guys so, so much. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here with me. Let's do this. Let's love ourselves, let's listen to your limits, let's trust that God has given us inherent value in and of ourselves. And if you don't believe in God and you're here, just trust yourself, give yourself value. You are loved, you have a purpose, you are not defined by what your body can and cannot do, and we are so happy that you're here.

L. A. 32:06

Until next Monday.com. This podcast cannot substitute for medical help and is purely for encouragement and entertainment. Please see your doctor before trying anything mentioned on this show.